


Shatter and Tessellate

by AnchoredTether



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst, Body Horror, Body Modification, Brainwashing, Childhood Trauma, Conditioning, Dark Magic, F/M, False Memories, Galra AU, Galra Hunk (Voltron), Galra Keith (Voltron), Galra Lance (Voltron), Galra Pidge | Katie Holt, Galra Shiro (Voltron), Gen, Graphic Description, Heavy Angst, Horror, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, Kerberos still happens, Kidnapping, Lions grant their paladins powers, Medical Torture, Metamorphosis, Mutation, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Psychological Horror, Quintessence (Voltron), Red Paladin Lance (Voltron), Repressed Memories, Team as Family, Transformation, Whump, because I'm a sucker for Elemental Lions, both mentally and physically, but Veronica is the champion, canon divergent AU of DEATH, druid Pidge, it's kidfic for awhile but then there will be a timeskip to where they're older, major character death but not in the way you think, of a sort, paladins are brainwashed into becoming Galran soldiers, you'll understand when the story gets to that point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:21:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23285425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnchoredTether/pseuds/AnchoredTether
Summary: Voltron has always been an elusive, inevitable threat to the Galra Empire, scattered across the universe and hiding for centuries for its fated paladins to rise to their destined calling. They found and captured the Red Lion but it was not enough to thwart the future. Honerva foresees years ahead, catching a glimpse of the five future paladins. She knows enough. She knows where their homeplanet lies (and all of them conveniently come from one place), she knows their names and faces, and she knows their respective Voltron Lions.In a desperate attempt to alter the future, Honerva sets out to capture the paladins at a young age and ensure they will never pilot the Lions. By conditioning their minds and transforming their bodies, she trains and raises a team of perfect galran soldiers. She strips them of everything they once were to ensure they can never rise up as the defenders of the universe they were meant to become.Despite the horrors of Honerva's cunning plan, the Lions are adaptable to the dire circumstances and Lance still has a wild streak of luck in determining their roles in the universe.
Relationships: Lance/Pidge | Katie Holt
Comments: 99
Kudos: 126





	1. The Most Dangerous Game

Alarming barks bolt Katie wide awake, her hands frantically clutching her favorite stuffed owl and her heart thrumming so hard she is scared it is going to burst within her chest. Bae Bae is a relatively shy, quiet dog and only barks when she is terrified. Yet here, on her bed, her dog is barking and growling up a storm, tail tucked between her legs. Whatever is happening, or whoever is near, causes Bae Bae great fear and Katie is torn between wanting to hide beneath her blankets and running into her mother's arms. She wishes her father and Matt are here but they both currently reside at the Garrison.

She is too frozen to do anything more than clutch her owl close with trembling hands.

She hears footsteps - several - quietly enter the house in the darkness of the night. The only light she has aside from pale moonlight filtering in through the closed window blinds are her numerous glow-in-the-dark stars scattered randomly about her walls and ceiling. Bae Bae jumps off the bed and hides underneath, her barks silenced, now only managing small whimpers. Katie takes this as a sign that she should hide as well, but her fear and fatal curiosity keeps her rooted.

The security alarm never sets off despite the clear breaking and entering into the Holt home. Katie can only assume they somehow disabled it, which means she is dealing with someone smart as opposed to some kind of monster. That knowledge only scares her more.

She knows her parents are renowned geniuses in their own fields. She can imagine bad people would want to steal their inventions or their piles of research. She can imagine that plenty of villains would want to take one or both of her parents to create a weapon of mass destruction or a virus that could kill thousands. She wants to run to her mom to warn her but she also knows she will only get in harm's way. She knows her mom is smart enough to figure a way out of this...and maybe if Katie remains still and quiet, they will quietly take what they are looking for and leave.

She never could have imagined that the bad guys were coming for _her._

Katie screams when large hands curl around her and yank her from the warmth of her bed. Her owl falls from her grasp and despite her kicking and screaming, she is helpless to the force that manhandles her. Everything happens so quickly that she can barely understand it all as her heart leaps up into her throat. Something knocks over and shatters. Bae Bae starts growling in a way Katie never heard before, and then a pained yelp. A high pitched whirring charges up. A cloth wraps around her mouth. Her squirming and kicking is futile against those iron hands clasped around her like chains.

Her eyes widen when she hears a familiar voice and the panic starts to overwhelm her. Her skin grows cold and something she never felt before starts stirring violently inside her veins.

"Let _go_ of my daughter!"

Her mother stands in the doorway with a blaster prototype she recognizes as one of her father's designs. Her fearful golden eyes try to convey to her mother to leave, to run. But all she can do is let out muffled screams as she watches a nightmare unravel before her eyes.

Her last memory of Earth is seeing her mother fall to the ground, her motionless body staining her bedroom carpet crimson.

* * *

"Shiro?!"

"Lance?"

"Keith!!?"

"...Who?"

"Hunk! Great, glad we could get introductions done with," Hunk says with a tone of annoyance despite his voice shaking. "How does everyone here know each other already?"

Lance and Hunk pant as they attempt to catch their breath from being thrown into a mysterious room and try to wrap their minds around everything that happened. The strange dark room has thin lines of florescent magenta lighting, illuminating four other prisoners within the space. They are all dressed in various nightwear and everyone is barefoot. Lance is suddenly glad he is wearing a shirt because sometimes he only wore his pajama pants, and in this chilly cell he is grateful for any small comfort of warmth. He knows Shiro and Keith from the Garrison, but there is another boy that seems to be Shiro's age wearing thin-rimmed glasses, and a girl with long honey hair, clearly younger than all of them.

"Do - do any of you know where we are? Or who those people were? Or why we were all... k-kidnapped??" He doesn't want to use the word but he knows deep down that's what the situation is. And the only kinds of people who steal a bunch of children can only have bad intentions in mind...

"We're... still trying to assess everything..." Shiro says with far more placidness than anyone else. The girl is curled up in the corner with her head buried behind her pulled in knees, the other older boy stares blankly at the floor in horror, Keith paces irritably around the relatively small space and Hunk is still trembling, his anxiety so palatable that Lance feels his own skin crawling.

Lance isn't quite sure how he is feeling in the midst of so many conflicting emotions. Inwardly he is freaking out but there is also a strange sense of numbness which he is certain will eventually shatter and lead to a mental meltdown. Everything feels surreal and he can't quite comprehend that he was actually kidnapped from his quiet dormitory and being transported somewhere far away. It feels too much like one of those thriller series he loves to watch, one with his favorite tagline of _"the hunter becomes the hunted."_ Everything happened in a blur and he never got a clear look at his kidnappers or whatever vehicle or plane they entered.

"D-does anyone have a-a... a... like a phone or watch or something? Something that we could use to call for help?" Lance asks, looking at each individual in desperation.

Shiro shakes his head. "They destroyed Adam's watch. The rest of us had nothing on us since we were all in bed."

So the other boy's name is Adam. Lance turns his head towards the girl in the corner. "What's her name?"

"That's Katie." Shiro's gaze falls to the floor. "She's... not doing too well."

"W-what are we going to do?" Hunk whimpers. "What are they... what are they going to _do_ to us?! Where are they even taking us? What if we-"

"Oh would you please STOP THAT!" Keith snarls, whipping around to face Hunk with a fire in his eyes. "Your whining is not helping anyone at ALL."

Lance looks like he's ready to punch Keith in the face but he turns to his friend instead. "Hunk, please," he stresses as he grasps his friend's shoulders with both hands and squeezes reassuringly. He give him a pained look. "We're all scared and none of us know what's going on. We need to calm down and be prepared for whatever's going to happen next."

"None of us are taking this well," Adam finally speaks up, his eyes rising to look around at his fellow victims. "But if we let our panic get the best of us they might hurt us to silence us. We might miss a chance to escape. Our best bet is to be calm and cooperative until a window of opportunity presents itself."

"How do we even know what that will look like?" Hunk asks, his voice less hysterical than before.

"You'll have a gut feeling," Shiro says. "You have to trust your instincts. And if we work as a team, we can get through this. No one gets left behind."

A silence washes over them as they soak in Shiro's words. They are no longer children, students, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters. They are soldiers, prisoners of war. If they want to make it out alive they will have to work as a unit to survive. None of them know what is to come and the uncertainty eats away at their insides, leaving them hollow and scared.

Lance moves over to the girl in the corner and sits down next to her, folding his knees to his chest to mirror her. "Hey," he says softly, his voice still unsteady. "Your name is Katie?"

Her head shifts slightly so her curtain of hair moves to reveal a sliver of her face. Her eyes match her hair, a beautiful honeyed brown, but her eyes are bloodshot and raw, spilling with emotion. She blinks wet lashes at him, sniffling thickly. She returns her head back to her knees, her hair hiding her face but she still nods to answer his question.

A sad smile finds place upon his lips. "I'm Lance. Is it okay if I give you a hug?" He feels like a handshake is far too weird and formal given their situation and the girl looks like she could use a comforting embrace. In truth, Lance also desires to hold on to something to keep his sanity anchored so he hopes deep down that she will say yes.

She is quiet but he is patient. She eventually looks up and numbly nods but doesn't move. Lance scoots closer and wraps his arms around her small frame, welcoming the contact of another human when he is also uncertain and terrified. It only takes her a few seconds to grasp onto him even tighter, letting her cries loose against his chest. He tries to calm the beating of his heart but it continues to thrash against his ribs and he is certain it is pounding in Katie's ears as she presses her head against his shirt.

"How old are you, Katie?" he asks shakily, trying to give her some kind of distraction so she can focus on that instead of her overwhelming fear.

Again there is a pause, but she eventually answers him with a thick, snuffly voice. "Ten."

"You're not much younger than me!" He lets out a small laugh through his tears. "I'm turning thirteen this July." He begins to comfortingly stroke a hand through her soft locks. "What's your favorite color?"

The questions must be working because she starts answering with less pause and her sobs become less violent. "G-green."

"Green's a nice color, it comes in so many shades. My favorite is blue, like the sky or the ocean."

"Those come in an even greater variety of shades," she argues, and he could have sworn he sees a spark in her eyes. "Sometimes they're not even blue."

"Well," Lance pauses, looking over at Shiro who gives him a reassuring smile. His eyes twinkle painfully with encouragement. "You got me there. Just like sunsets. I love sunsets."

Katie is quiet a moment, clutching Lance's shirt within her fists. "I want my brother. I want my dad. I want my dog... I want my _mom..."_

Lance tries to contain his emotions for the sake of the little girl within his arms, but he cannot stop his tears from flowing. "I know... I _know..."_ He shuts his eyes tight and holds her as close as he possibly can. "I m-miss my family, too."

He swallows heavily, trying to hold back the emotions that threaten to drown him. "But right now... we're the only family we've got."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking [Bad Things Happen Bingo prompts](https://anchoredtether.tumblr.com/tagged/shatter-and-tessellate) for this project! Feel free to [send me an ask](https://anchoredtether.tumblr.com/ask) requesting what prompt you'd like to see next! I'll try to do them in the order I receive them but some might come later for plot purposes.


	2. Finding a Commonality

Everyone stirs with too much anxiety to go back to sleep. Shiro and Adam quietly go over every detail they can remember, with Keith pitching in occasionally as they attempt to assess the situation, theorize, and prepare for what might happen next. Katie is still curled up against Lance and Hunk joins them as well, the three of them huddle together as they try to comfort each other with some simple human contact. It is hard to figure out time in their situation, but what feels like an hour later Keith finally speaks up.

"Hey, I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier," he calls out across the room to Hunk. "This whole thing is just... it's crazy."

"Yeah... it really is," Hunk answers back, his expression soft. "It's okay, I know you didn't mean it."

There is silence between them for a moment before Hunk speaks again. "Okay, what I don't get is why they picked _us._ Clearly we were specifically targeted since we were so randomly spread out. Not even all of us go to the Garrison, which is the only thing most of us have in common."

"Katie's brother does, and the Holts work for the Garrison," Shiro points out. "But why wouldn't they take Matt if that were the case? Why Katie?"

"Woah, hold up - you're a _Holt?"_ Lance looks down at Katie and she gives a small nod. "Samuel Holt is your dad?" Another nod. "Her dad wrote our Aeronautics textbook, Hunk!"

Hunk's eyebrows rise. "Maybe it has something to do with who our parents are? Katie's dad's a scientist, my mom's an engineer, Lance comes from a family of doctors... and Shiro, wasn't your dad a famous pilot?"

"That's true, but..." Shiro gives a wary glance over to Keith.

"Both my parents are dead," Keith says flatly.

"And besides," Adam adds, "My dad's an accountant. Not exactly anything to kidnap a son over."

"Okay so that can't be it..." Hunk mutters. "What if they took us to hold for ransom? Maybe someone has something against the Garrison?"

"If that were the case they would just take Shiro or one of the Holts," Keith points out. "Or you know... one of the Garrison's actual scientists, someone more important than a bunch of kids."

"All of us _do_ have a connection to the Garrison, there's no doubt about that," Adam says. "But trying to find any reason beyond that is madness."

"Wait!" Hunk's face lights up. "What about birth dates - I'm January 13th and Lance is July 28th-"

"Which are nowhere near each other?" Lance interjects with a raised brow.

"Quiet, let me get to my point - Katie, when's your birthday?"

"April 3rd," she answers.

"Shiro?"

"February 29th."

"Leap day? That's interesting. Adam?"

"November 15th."

"Keith?"

"October 23rd."

Hunk bit his bottom lip for a moment. "All of us have a birthday in a different month of the year."

"What does that have to do with _anything?"_ Keith asks.

"I don't know! But I'm collecting data, okay? I can not build bricks without clay."

"Maybe we all have something common that happened to us in our past?" Lance suggests.

"Like what?" Keith asks. "Getting abducted by aliens?"

Lance purses his lips together, his eyes narrowing in thought. "Well now that you say _that_ , none of us would actually _know_ if we got abducted by aliens, now, would we?"

"That's a valid point," Hunk adds.

"What if it's more of a... like a physical trait?" Lance asks. "I'm double-jointed."

"That's great," Keith says.

"I've got twenty-twenty vision."

Keith jabs a thumb at Adam who looks sheepish behind his glasses.

"Okay, maybe it's not a physical trait. What about a uhh... personality type thing? Like... raise your hand if you're an extrovert."

Lance, Hunk, and Shiro raise their hands.

"And raise your hand if you're an introvert."

Katie and Keith raise their hands and Lance twitches an eye at Adam. "What does that make you? I was about to say we were evenly split!"

"Ambivert," Adam answers dully.

"What does that even mean?" Lance mutters but Katie whispers an annoyed, "Let it go, Lance."

"This will sound super... 'out there,'" Hunk starts, "but what if they kidnapped us to like... build up a human colony on the moon or something as some bizarre experiment? Like in _The Koplar Effect?_ Have any of you read that?"

"First, that is science fiction," Katie finally speaks up to contribute to the theories. "Second, they would have kidnapped a lot more females than just me if they wanted to 'build up a colony.'"

"Okay, what if it has something to do with blood type? Because I'm O negative and that's the universal donor. Lance, what's your blood type?"

Lance stares at him with a blank expression for a moment. "...Red?"

Hunk groans. "Really Lance? It says on your student ID!"

"I can debunk that theory, Hunk," Shiro offers. "I'm a B positive."

"Well that's not really 'b-eing positive' now, is it?" Lance snorts.

"I'm a B negative if that helps with this theory," Adam says with a short snicker.

"Maybe none of us have anything in common at all," Keith suggests. "Maybe they just wanted some random kids and happened to take most of them from the Garrison."

"No, there was a reason, there _had_ to be a reason," Katie asserts, her voice loud and clear. "They chose us and us specifically." Her eyes begin to well up, fat tears spilling messily down her face. "I don't know why, but there has to be a reason because they were willing to kill to kidnap us."

"Katie..." Shiro's eyes are wide, his expression hard and disturbed. "What happened?"

"They-" She chokes on her words, her cries wracking her body as they increase in volume and intensity. Lance does his best to comfort her since he is closest to her, pulling her close with one arm while gently rubbing her back with his free hand. She can't say the words. She can't bring herself to voice the reality she was still trying to accept.

"They killed your mother..." Shiro says somberly as he connects the dots, a hint of anger in his voice.

Katie's increasing floodgates are as good an answer as any. She buries herself into Lance, her whole body shaking as she relives the memory like a reopened wound. It only happened over an hour ago but it feels like an eternity. The room is filled with a tense mixture of shock, fear, and grief as the gravity of the situation falls upon everyone with great intensity.

They weren't just kidnapped.

They were hunted and captured for an unknown, dark purpose.

Hours pass. They try to talk to each other to ease the tension but it is difficult after Katie plants such a dire realization into their minds. All of them are terrified and waiting in great anticipation for what is to come. Eventually, two people enter the room, completely covered in some kind of unfamiliar, gray armor. Their faces are covered and they say nothing as one of them sets down a tray with six bowls of what appeared to be soup. The other one begins making their way to each of them, starting with Hunk.

There is a bright purple light from a device on the captor's wrist that scans over Hunk and then they seize his wrist to clasp a bracelet that locks with a few clicks and glows yellow.

"What is this, w-what are you doing?" he stammers as the captor proceeds to scan Lance.

Lance yelps when his wrist is grabbed, his bracelet glowing blue once it is secure. In the midst of their confusion as the captor starts scanning Katie, Keith makes a run for the door. The other captor easily pins him up against the wall and Keith lets out a huff as the air is slammed out of his lungs. The other captor finishes Shiro's bracelet, scans and then skips Adam, and puts the remaining bracelet upon Keith's wrist. The captor releases him and he gasps for breath as they leave.

"Are you alright?" Shiro asks as he kneels next to Keith.

"Yeah I'm fine, just startled me is all."

"Okaaaaaaay but what do these mean?" Lance asks as he taps his bracelet and looks at it from different angles. The smooth black metal is the size of a smartwatch, secured on too tight to slip off. "And why didn't they give Adam one?"

"I don't know," Hunk says. "Is there some correlation between the colors yellow, blue, green, purple, and red?"

"Red, yellow, and blue are primary colors," Adam offers. "Red, green, and blue are primary colors of light."

"Those were AI," Katie says numbly from her corner next to Lance.

"What?!" Hunk practically squeals.

"You're meaning to tell me those were _robots?"_ Lance asks in disbelief.

"Far more advanced than any kind of technology we have... that I've ever even heard of..." Katie muses. They are dealing with an underground organization or... something else entirely. It hurts her head to dwell on it for too long.

"That's unsettling," Keith says. He points to the bowls set down on the floor. "Are they expecting us to eat that?"

"I am _not_ eating anything they give me," Lance says with a determined scowl. "What if it's poisoned?"

"Why would they go to the trouble of kidnapping us just to poison us, idiot? I'm thinking it's laced with a sleeping agent."

"It's definitely questionable..." Shiro says, frowning. "But at the same time if we want to attempt an escape we're going to need all our strength. When was the last time any of us ate? Probably well over ten hours ago."

"...Shiro makes a good point," Adam agrees. "We certainly can't trust anything these people do, but everything from here on out will only be that much more difficult if we're starving."

"If it makes you guys feel better, I'll try it first." Shiro looks around at each of them in turn. "I agree we should be cautious but we need every advantage we can get." He grabs a bowl and sniffs it, placing a finger in the soup to test the temperature, and then slowly raises it to his lips to take a small taste. After a few seconds of everyone staring at him expectantly, he shrugs. "Tastes like some kind of pot roast."

"Let's wait a few minutes though to see if there are any immediate reactions," Adam advises. "If it is laced with something, we would find out pretty quickly."

Everyone agrees although Lance and Pidge still look skeptical a few minutes later when they all take a bowl and begin eating. Shiro is right, however, and Lance and Pidge cannot complain when their realized hunger is now satisfied.

"You know, I realized something we _do_ all have in common..." Lance muses with a pause. His eyes look up at the ceiling, his blue hues glistening with nostalgia. He loves the ocean and he loves sunsets but what he loves even more is lifting his eyes to the skies to see the stars begin to shine through dark velvet. There is something about the unknown of the skies that draws him in like a magnet, a force he can hear calling him to come explore.

"We all love space."

He knows it was a gamble to assume Katie feels the same, but she is a Holt and Lance has a feeling she has a love for the undiscovered universe. It is she who speaks next after his observation, her amber gaze holding the faintest sparkle that gives him a spark of hope.

"You're right. It is something we all have in common."

Everyone agrees in a mutual silence that feels welcome and comfortable for once. They can't figure out a commonality but now, it seems that with such a simple statement, they feel more connected to each other and there is formidable strength in that. Lance helped them realize they are in this together and by finding a similarity they can set aside their differences to try and cooperate and survive. Everything is strange and uncertain and they are beyond the point of tears and theories. They are near the point of such exhaustion that sleep constantly threatens to pull them under.

And then the doors open again and they all spring up, attentive.

Standing in the doorway is an incredibly tall and muscular man, covered in strange armor in shades of blacks and reds, a few more of them with similar stature standing behind him in the hallway. His hands are clawed and he wears no helmet, revealing purple skin, pointed ears, and hollow glowing yellow eyes. Before any of them can properly react to seeing an actual _alien,_ he speaks so plainly it feels surreal.

"Empress Honerva would like to see you now."


	3. Resolutions and Ultimatums

Katie clings to Lance's arm as they are escorted out of the room by the tall aliens. They huddle together, mostly in a line with Shiro and Adam at the front, followed by Hunk and Keith, while she and Lance bring up the rear. She quickly discovers that they were originally inside a small aircraft which is now docked inside a large hangar. The place is huge and made of the same dark metal with bright purple lights running along the walls. From glancing at their surroundings as they are herded, Katie sees more aliens with their helmets removed and observes a great variety in their appearances but all of them have a common range of purple features and bright yellow eyes. Many of them hold guns and it feels more like they are being recruited into a military boot camp than abducted by aliens.

Too many questions burn inside her mind and the minds of her fellow captives, but fear grips their throats and prevents any of them from voicing their thoughts. They silently follow where the aliens lead, turning down hallways and entering through sliding double doors until they reach a large open room, the walls obsidian and filled with stars. It takes Katie a moment to realize the walls are  _ windows, _ showing the expanse of space outside. They weren't kidnapped to some hidden alien outpost on Earth, they are already out in space, far away from home and possibly their entire solar system. Any chance of being rescued is completely diminished upon this dawning realization and Katie feels like she just got doused with freezing cold water.

The woman the aliens lead them to doesn't appear all that alien. Her long hair is a light, almost lavender color, but otherwise her features appear human, her skin slightly darker than Lance's warm tones and her irises a bright amber similar to Katie's eyes. Only her elongated, pointed ears and pinkish red markings beneath her eyes are an indication that she isn't human.

The aliens surrounding them all fall to one knee, placing their right fists over their chests in some type of respectful salute. Shiro and Adam look around and nervously follow suit, Hunk, Keith, Lance, and Katie following their elders as they do the same.

"We've brought you the Paladins as you've requested, your Empress," the first alien they saw from their holding cell announces.

_ Paladins? _ Why are the aliens referring to a bunch of kids as knights?

"Well done, Haxus," she says curtly, then turns her attention to the humans, her expression slightly surprised. "You do not have to bow to me," she says, her voice smooth and rich. "I am Honerva... you are probably wondering why I have brought you here."

Katie feels a burning urge to scream at her and ask why they killed her mother, but fear wraps around her neck like a chain and keeps her rooted to the spot. She falls onto both her knees and curls in on herself, not bothering to look the empress in the eyes. Her breaths are rapid and shaky and she feels like her heart will burst at any moment. She tries her hardest to listen to the words the alien woman speaks next as panic begins to set into her entire being.

"There is a prophecy... a prophecy I have witnessed that includes all of you. You are chosen ones, destined and gifted for greatness. You all have something unique to bring to the fight against a force of evil that wants to control and take away the agency of others. You are the Paladins of Prophecy, and I have brought you here to fulfill your roles within the Galra Empire."

"What do you mean, 'prophecy?'" Shiro asks. "And why us? We're just kids, we're not even... we're  _ human _ . Why would we be the ones to help?"

The empress shakes her head with closed eyes. "I understand it is a lot to grasp and it is hard to believe. Your questions are a normal response to all of this, Shiro. But one day, when you are all ready, I can show you what I have seen and you can know for yourselves. But if you do not rise to your position as Paladins, even your own home planet will be in danger and taken over."

Katie finally finds her voice. "Then why did my mother have to die?" she cries, her heart breaking all over again as she remembers it in fresh clarity. They could have spared her, left her home for Katie to return to once this strange destiny among aliens is completed. She sees no reason for her mother to die despite the peculiarity of Honerva's proposal.

The woman shoots an icy glare at the solider named Haxus, then slowly approaches Katie and kneels on the ground right in front of her. She pulls her into an embrace, her hand carting tenderly through her long locks of hair.

"Your mother should have  _ never _ died, dear." Her voice is soothing and Katie cannot help but melt into her embrace. "That was a mistake in which I will take full accountability for, a mistake I will try to amend by helping you in whatever way you need. The universe  _ needs _ you Katie, now more than ever... and I know your mother would be so proud to see you become the Paladin you're meant to be."

"Then why couldn't they have just brought her too? Why did she have to die?"

"That's what they should have done, my dear, I am so terribly sorry. If I could go back in time and change how things happened, I would change it in a heartbeat. I know the path that lies ahead for each of you is going to be full of challenges... I want to make everything easier for you in whatever way I can. I'll do anything to help you all succeed in fulfilling your destiny. I am here to guide and nurture you to become what the universe needs you to be."

"So we'll be able to go back home one day?" Lance asks softly, his voice holding a hint of hope near the end.

"Yes, Lance, you will," Honerva says warmly, reaching out a hand to gently grasp his shoulder. "One day, when this is all fought and won, when the universe has found peace... then we can all go home. But if you don't fulfill the prophecy... if you don't take on your roles as Paladins... there will be no home waiting for you. You all have to do this, not only for your home and your families, but for everyone's families... for  _ everyone _ in the universe."

There is a moment of silence between them as they allow the woman's words sink in. A heavy weight is distributed among them, a thickness in the air that makes it hard to breathe. The prophecy is hard to grasp but the empress somehow knows them on a first name basis and her words hold the swaying power of conviction. This is something straight out of one of the fairy tale stories Katie's mother would read to her or one of Matt's superhero comic books and none of them could ever anticipate being thrust into a world of aliens and prophecies and saving the universe.

"Why us?" Keith asks. "What's so special about us?"

The empress gives Katie a quick, reassuring squeeze and releases her as she stands up to address Keith. "I do not know the reasoning behind the prophecy but I do know for a surety that it involves each of you. I do not claim to fully understand the ways of the astral plane, but what it showed me is truth. I suppose in time, we can all come to realize what the stars meant when they assigned each of you to such tasks of greatness."

Honerva takes a hold of Katie's hand and uses her other to hold Lance's as well. "It's been a long night and I'm certain you're all exhausted and full of questions. But for now, I think you could all use a good night's rest. Let me show you to your rooms."

Katie burns with too many conflicting emotions that she is afraid she might pass out at any moment. Her head is dizzy and her steps weak. The woman's hand is both a comfort to her uneasy spirit but a part of her also feels  _ wrong _ being treated like she was Honerva's own child right after her mother was ripped away from her. She wants to believe her words are true, that the prophecy is in fact real, and that they are brought here with a purpose. She deeply yearns for there to be a reason for their kidnapping and Honerva gave her one... but somehow she still is not satisfied. She has to believe in the prophecy and her role as a Paladin otherwise her mother's death will be meaningless.

The area that would become their new home is large and spacious with open living quarters and a kitchen, branching off into separate bedrooms for each of them. There are only five rooms and six of them, but this is justified by the fact that four of them are used to sleeping with a roommate so one room has two beds in case Lance and Hunk or Adam and Shiro desire to continue rooming together. In the end, Lance and Hunk are the ones to take the shared room.

Honerva bids them all goodnight with honeyed words but Katie cannot shake the feeling that something is off. Her bedroom is too naked and sterile as if she is sleeping in a hospital room or a prison cell. She wants her glow-in-the-dark stars and her stuffed animals and her science books... but most of all she just wants her family. As she crawls under the gray sheets and thick comforter - pleased to find that aliens also sleep with soft pillows - she realizes that the boys she was kidnapped with would have to be her family from now on.

And as strange as it is, possibly Honerva too...

If she has to become some heroine in a fantastic space prophecy, it wouldn’t hurt to have the alien woman's instruction and guidance. Despite Katie's wariness of her, she can tell the woman is intelligent and wise beyond her years. Everything is strange and unfamiliar and she is certain that in time, she will have no choice but to adapt.

She has to if she wants to save her home and family... what is left of it.

Katie tosses and turns for what seems like hours, unable to sleep but too exhausted to cry anymore either. She is scared of everything happening but her curiosity also continually eats at her mind. She decides to give herself a distraction and leaves her room, quietly padding across the living room and out the front doors to the main hallway of what she assumes is some kind of massive spaceship or space station. She is surprised the doors open for her, but not so surprised to find two towering guards stationed right outside.

"Where are you headed, Paladin?" one of the robots asks in a monotonous, inorganic voice.

"There are bathrooms in your designated area," the other one suggests.

"No, I..." She doesn't even know what to say. She runs her hands nervously through a strand of her hair, shifting her gaze between the two AI. "I just needed some fresh air. Can I walk through the hallways?"

"Leaving the Paladin designated premises is prohibited."

"But I-"

"Absolutely no exceptions."

Katie starts to open her mouth to protest but a voice stops her as it rounds the corner.

"I'll escort the young Paladin from here," Honerva says. She wears a shimmery night robe of velvet, her headpiece gone and loose strands of pale hair tucked neatly behind her long ears. She looks down at Katie and offers her a sympathetic smile. "You want to stretch your legs because you can't sleep?"

She pauses, wondering if she should return to her bedchamber instead, but slowly nods. Honerva begins walking down the hallway and Katie numbly follows. They walk in silence until they reach a spacious room filled with windows to observe the darkness of space that surrounds them, stars sparkling hopefully but much too distantly. Katie wonders if one of those stars is her home.

The woman sits down on one of the cushioned benches and motions for her to sit next to her. Katie does so, tucking her feet onto the bench and pulling her knees in close to her chest. They both stare out at the beautiful expanse of space, various blue and purple clouds lighting up a section of windows in dazzling color.

"What are you?" Katie finally finds her voice to ask. She knows Honerva is not human but she is nothing like the purple aliens either.

"I am altean," she answers. "I am not much different from you... there are plenty of species in the universe that resemble us. It is interesting how we can find things that remind us of home in the most remote corners of space."

"Altean..." she echoes as if she has to taste the word to fully understand it. "And what is... the other species... called?"

"Galra. Most passengers aboard this ship are galran. You are quite inquisitive for your age... I can imagine you prefer to read an interesting book rather than engage in activities with the other kids at your school."

Katie nods. "I'd much rather study than play."

Honerva smiles. "I was the same way when I was your age. I wanted to learn so much and it felt like everyone was moving at a pace too slow for me. You have such a bright mind... keep it sharp and never stop questioning how things work. There is always more to be learned and an increase in knowledge only makes us better equipped to survive what the universe deems to throw at us. There is so much more we can  _ know...  _ that we can barely even comprehend it."

She is moved by her words, her anxious heart slowly starting to still into a more regular rhythm. Katie feels a strange connection to the altean and that connection intrigues her. She wants to dissect the connection and understand why she feels tied to an alien woman she just met. Before she can say anything, Honerva's demeanor changes. Her shoulders slump and she looks at her with a deep remorse in her eyes.

"Katie, I am truly sorry about what happened to your mother." Her voice is soft and weak, as if her mother's death personally affected her as well. "I could never foresee things happening this way. It hurts my heart to see you like this, but... if you so desire, I have a way to remove your pain. If you want it, I can take away your suffering."

She knows the alien could not bring her mother back. Her brows lower skeptically. "What do you mean? How can you do that?"

Honerva looks hesitant, her expression troubled. "I can simply remove the memory through alchemy... that way you won't be burdened with grief and you will be able to work hard to become a strong and powerful Paladin. To keep the rest of your family safe..." She turns to better face her and cups her small, delicate face within her hands. "You do not need to make a decision tonight, Katie. But I wanted to offer you the choice... if you so desire, to be free from such terrible pain..."

She nods, closing her eyes and leaning into Honerva's touch, grasping one of her wrists with her hands. The more she thinks about it, the more she wonders how she can possibly get through everything with such sadness weighing down upon her heart. She knows that whatever lay ahead is going to be difficult and challenging and she will need all her strength to endure it. She wants to be strong for her fellow Paladins who are just as scared and lonely as she is, but how can she do that when she constantly feels as if she is breaking inside?

"I will think about it..." she answers softly.

"A wise decision," Honerva commends, leaning down to offer her a kiss on the top of her head. She moves her hands to rest on Katie's fragile shoulders. "I know you will be an example to the others. I can already see that you're cunning and adaptive - you will be their support and their guide. You hold such a heavy and tremendous destiny upon your shoulders, but I know you have the strength and resolve to carry it gracefully."

"But I'm scared..." she admits. "What if I mess up? What if I'm helpless to save anyone else?"

"If you focus too much on all the things that could go wrong, you might miss a chance to do something great," Honerva says with a kind, knowing smile. "I  _ know _ you'll be great, Katie."

There it is. The same words her father once told her one night when she was stressing about all the things that could go wrong with her science experiment for class.

_ It is interesting how we can find things that remind us of home in the most remote corners of space... _

Tears well up in her eyes after so many hours of dry exhaustion, of being unable to shed any more tears after her body was spent. Here in some remote corner of space on a ship full of aliens, she feels a glimpse of home within her heart. She isn't completely alone and the reminder of her father invigorates her spirit to keep on fighting. A soft reassurance fills her heart to a steady rhythm that tells her things are going to be okay, that  _ she _ is going to be okay. She has the strength to make it so, she has the strength to go and be great.

Katie falls forward and embraces Honerva in a hug, letting her tears spill down her cheeks. "I will try... I will try my best to be great, for my family, for the other Paladins, my friends... I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of hurting. I want to know more, I want to grow. I want to be strong and fight." She looks up at Honerva with a determination in her eyes. She is not going to be powerless anymore. She is not going to lose the war between good and evil. She is not going to let any more of her loved ones die.

"And I will win. For their sake, I will make sure of it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fulfills the BTHB prompt "faux-affectionate villain"!
> 
> I'm taking [Bad Things Happen Bingo prompts](https://anchoredtether.tumblr.com/tagged/shatter-and-tessellate) for this project! Feel free to [send me an ask](https://anchoredtether.tumblr.com/ask) requesting what prompt you'd like to see next! I'll try to do them in the order I receive them but some might come later for plot purposes.


	4. Heavy Decisions

There are many conflicting feelings after being kidnapped and abducted by aliens, thrust out into space, and told how they are supposed to be something as profound as the defenders of the universe, but what bothers Lance the most is the ache in his chest that he can’t even inform his family of it all.

He can handle being separated from his home for a time. Honerva promised they would one day return back to Earth, whenever this horrible space war is done and over. That is the biggest comfort to him in the face of so much uncertainty. He even likes the idea of returning home as a majestic war hero, winning the attention of all the ladies and telling his siblings and niece and nephew tales of his battles in space. He would become famous and people would finally give him the attention he so craves. But he cannot simply send a letter back home explaining where he is and that he is fine, and how he misses them all greatly and cannot wait to one day come home. He does not want his mother to worry and he doesn’t want his sisters to be sad.

He joined the Garrison for a reason; he always dreamed of being a fighter pilot, and now not only is his wish granted, but he is deemed a  _ chosen one  _ in some grandiose battle that would determine the fate of the entire universe. Despite all of his fear and uncertainty, Lance is always someone who is happy-go-lucky and went with the flow as the proverbial waves rolled in. This is simply a new challenge for him and he is willing to face it head-on.

The only problem is the food.

All of them struggled to digest anything the aliens present to them. In the middle of the night they arrived they all started hurling the soup they had in the cell. Hunk isn't the only vomitter among the group anymore. What made matters worse, Hunk is apparently a sympathetic vomitter and would hurl again whenever he heard someone else emptying their stomach. The galra try a variety of dishes but nothing settles with their stomachs.

And then there is Keith.

Who is apparently fine.

Honerva insists they all complete a thorough examination so the physician can determine the cause of their indigestion and any possible solutions. She says it would additionally be beneficial to better understand their human physiology to make their training and lessons reconstructed to fit their needs and limitations. Naturally, an alien examining them would want to discover every bare inch since the human body is all new territory. There are scans that examine parts of the Paladins' bodies that they didn't even know are worth examining, such as their fingernails. Doctor Tejal is apparently fascinated with the biology of human fingernails.

Lance isn't exactly fazed by the thorough examination since he grew up with two doctors as parents, but he still feels a decent dose of embarrassment at the whole ordeal. Nothing quite ruins the mood for the day than an alien fully prodding around his private parts. He feels even worse for Katie, who, being the only female human the alien doctor has to examine, is studied for almost as long as the five boys combined. When she finally returns to their living quarters she runs straight to her room and closes the door.

"...should I go see if she needs anything?" Lance asks.

"She... probably doesn't want to see anyone for a bit, Lance," Hunk says dryly. "We're all kind of weirded out by everything."

He lets out a long sigh. Shiro and Adam seem to be handling things well but he is certain they are freaking out in their own ways, simply better at hiding it for all of their sakes. Hunk is constantly trying not to break down or scream - he sees it in the never-ending fidgeting of his fingers and nervous bouncing of a leg. If the food wasn't an issue, Lance knew Hunk would be continually stress snacking. Keith is always quietly brooding but after the examination Lance notices a drastic shift in the orphan's behavior. Keith looks absolutely disturbed and there is something about his hollow stare that puts Lance completely on edge. He is waiting for Keith to snap and he knows it isn't going to be pretty when it happens. Katie is harder to peg since she immediately hid in her room, but he knows she is bound to completely break down any day now. He couldn't even imagine what kind of pain must be weighing on her shoulders. She was torn from her family just like the rest of them but she had to witness her own mother dying right before her eyes. Lance was a sobbing wreck for well over a week when the family dog died, so he couldn't imagine what kind of turbulence is wracking her heart.

He wants to go and comfort her in whatever way he can but Hunk was right. She probably does not want to see anyone much less have anyone giving her any kind of physical contact, not after what she just went through. He feels awful in his current state of powerlessness - he couldn't help any of his friends feel better and at the moment he wants nothing more than a swimming pool to de-stress in or some fresh homemade bread as comfort food.

He excuses himself to one of the bathrooms to take a shower since it is the next best remedy. He still feels gross from the physical examination. Even though the doctor wore gloves he feels like he can still feel everywhere those plastic fingers touched, as if a thick, itchy residue is left behind all over his skin. Even his mouth feels weird from the doctor prodding a stick to better examine all of his teeth.

Luckily there are a lot of similarities to Earth on this strange spaceship, the design of showers being one of them. There are a variety of different heads and spouts for water to shoot out and Lance can only assume this is to accommodate all the vast anatomical differences between the galra species. From the limited pool of specimens he has seen, galra have a wide range of physical features. Some of them have large, cat-like ears, others have horns, some of them have tails, some are covered in fur while others have skin or scales. But mostly, galra are  _ tall.  _ The main, largest shower head has to be ten feet high and Lance feels like an infant standing at five foot, so low from the stream of water. He knows he will grow taller in a few years but the highest he would reach will be a little past six feet (judging by the height of his older brothers), in which he would still feel small within these showers. He figures it is better than the alternative, however, where the shower would be too small and he would have to bend over to thoroughly wash his hair.

He experiments with some of the valves and enjoys a nice massage upon his feet. He lathers up what he assumes is soap all over his body and already feels more refreshed to wash away the sickly feeling from his physical examination. He quickly learns that galra must have a higher tolerance for heat, because what would have been a decently warm but not too hot shower back on Earth feels like it is going to burn off his skin - and the temperature dial could be raised significantly higher than that.

When he finally finishes, returning to the common living room, Katie is still shut up inside her bedchambers. He flops down into the conversation pit near Hunk and starts examining his nails. He wonders how likely it would be that he can ask for something like nail clippers. All the galrans he saw have claws and he wonders what kind of upkeep that entails. Maybe they don't need nail clippers and just claw at scratching posts like cats.

"How are the showers?" Hunk asks. It is their first full day aboard the alien ship and Lance was the only one to try them out so far.

"Kinda weird." He scratches at his head. "But also similar. Be careful turning the temperature because apparently galrans can survive melting their flesh off."

"Oh wow... good to know." He clears his throat, his leg bouncing nervously. "So uhm... since your parents are doctors and all... would you say that Doctor Tejal was doing a... a p-proper physical? Like was that normal?"

His tongue stiffens. "Uhh... well, for the most part yes? Nothing about any of this is exactly  _ 'normal'... _ but there were a lot of things that are part of a normal exam but... you know... we're technically aliens to them. There were plenty of parts that were... more  _ curiosity _ than any kind of check-up. But at the same time they won't know how to treat us until they fully understand our anatomy. They're just trying to get a full picture of how we work."

"I suppose so..." Hunk lets out a sigh. "It was still weird though."

"Oh definitely. I just hope Katie's okay..." He absently starts scratching at his stomach. "I don't know how to comfort her... I'm used to having an older sibling comfort me, not the other way around! Gahh why do I feel so itchy when I just took a shower??"

"Maybe because it was too hot at first?" Hunk asks.

"That... shouldn't have anything to do with it..." Lance lets out a hum, crossing his arms to keep himself from satisfying the itch that now covers every inch of his skin.

"Maybe their water has... different mineral properties..."

"But water is water, right? You telling me alien water is different?"

Hunk pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes in the frustrated manner he always does when he doesn't feel like explaining something to Lance. "There's more to it than that. If the water was bad, we wouldn't be able to handle drinking it."

"... but there's no way to know if the water is also contributing to all of us throwing up. We've been drinking  _ and _ eating, so maybe the food and the water are causing us problems. Or maybe just the water..."

"That's true... I think we need to wait and see what doctor Tejal says after her research," Hunk concludes. "I don't know what we're going to do though if we can't eat or drink anything..."

"Yeah..." Lance laments. He knows asking Honerva if they could simply go home is out of the question but there isn't much they can do if they cannot eat. The prophecy certainly would not come to fruition if the destined Paladins cannot even live past their first week in space. "They've got high tech stuff, there's gotta be some kind of... I don't know... synthetic food?? That they can make for us? I'm sure they'll figure out something."

He wants to believe what he says, that there is a solution to their dire situation, but there is a sinking feeling in his aching, empty stomach that tells him it will not be an easy fix.

* * *

The next day Lance learns he is allergic to the soap.

Doctor Tejal and Honerva came to the living quarters to address all the Paladins where they sat in the depressed conversation pit. Honerva has a grave look on her face but Lance could see a hint of excitement within the doctor's relatively neutral expression as she examines the ghastly rashes on his exposed torso. Lance was afraid Tejal would ask him to strip in front of all of them so she could examine him everywhere but luckily she only looks over his upper body.

"As frustrating as trial and error would be to discover food and necessities that don't cause any of you adverse reactions, it sadly won't produce much in the way of answers," Honerva starts. "However, doctor Tejal has discovered something that may prove useful."

"Human and galran genetics are actually quite similar," she states. "Ninety-eight percent of our DNA structure is exactly the same."

"The DNA of all living creatures share the same four building blocks," Katie comments. "We share a close percentage of genetic code with  _ bananas _ as we do you, so what's your point?"

"Apparently humans and galra are...  _ compatible _ with one another as well, seeing from the results of Paladin Keith."

Keith turns a shade lighter and his shoulders rise as everyone turns to stare at him with gaping mouths.

"Wait...  _ what!?"  _ Lance stammers. "Y-y-you're - you're  _ galran???" _

"Oh, apologies," Tejal says smoothly, her ears drooping. "I figured you would have shared such information with your fellow humans already."

"It's not like it's easy to reveal to them that I'm half  _ freak," _ Keith snaps. "Sorry," he adds as an afterthought to the doctor.

Tejal appears unfazed by his comment. "Paladin Keith is perfectly healthy despite sharing galran DNA and he is able to tolerate both human and galran diets. It is suggested that if we introduce some galran DNA into your bloodstreams, you'll take on the characteristics like Keith to be able to digest and tolerate all of the foreign stimuli you will continue to encounter while in space."

"So you're saying we have to be more like Keith?" Lance asks incredulously. "No way am I growing a mullet."

"But how can you be certain of genetic mutation and gene selectivity?" Katie inquires, her gaze stern. "Most genes have multiple effects, so how can you be certain we'll be able to eat without any harmful side effects arising from the splicing?"

"We would simply use a small stabilization of quintessence to avoid that."

"Quintessence?" Adam asks with raised brows. "What exactly is that?"

"To put it simply," Honerva says, "it is the energy of the universe. It is found in all living things and when acquired in concentrated doses, it has many uses."

"How do we know the quintessence won't hurt us?" Hunk asks.

"Because you are made of quintessence as well. Quintessence would be nothing foreign to your body, it would act as a serum or an agent to make the transition flow more smoothly. In fact, the colored bracelets upon your wrists reflect the color of your own quintessence."

All of the Paladins look down at their bracelets with a range of awe and concern.

"You can take the galran DNA supplement or continue to try different foods until something agrees with your stomach. The choice is yours," Tejal informs them with a sympathetic smile. "I will not force you into doing this, although I strongly recommend it, especially since my extensive research on Keith's blood sample proved that it will not cause any harm to your biology."

"Yeah but Keith was... apparently  _ born _ that way, of course he's accustomed to it," Hunk argues. "How will we know that our bodies won't reject it or react adversely to it?"

"I will take it as well," Honerva speaks up, causing all of them to lock on to her with wide eyes. "You can all wait and observe for yourselves how I react to the DNA change before you decide. Altean and human genetics are also very similar in nature and I should have a similar response as all of you."

"I will prepare six serums," the doctor said, "but you will have plenty of time to think about whether or not you want to take the formula. Until then I will have the kitchen staff provide more diverse meals in hope that something will agree with your stomachs."

Honerva and the doctor leave the room with the heavy decision, the atmosphere remaining silent for several minutes as they all ponder about the implications of taking on alien DNA. Finally Katie speaks, her tone neutral and her expression numb.

"Their technology is far more advanced," she says.

"Huh?" Lance asks, recognizing she has more to elaborate.

"We've all seen their medical equipment first hand. When they did their exam on me they were able to tell I'm Autistic - although they obviously didn't know the name for it - just from one of their medical scans. Which means they're able to read our very nervous systems. Clearly they're more advanced just by observing the capabilities of their spaceship, but it looks like they're incredibly competent in medical technology as well."

"But don't you feel weird about aliens introducing alien biology into your body?" Hunk asks. "It just seems... it seems  _ wrong." _

"What other choice do we have, though?" Shiro muses. "Unless we find something we can actually eat, we're going to eventually starve. We can't possibly escape until we've gathered more intel, and that will take time - time we won't have if we don't start eating properly."

"Wait, you've actually been thinking about escaping?" Hunk looks around nervously as if a bunch of aliens are about to bust in with guns blazing at overhearing this.

Shiro, Adam, and Katie all respond at the same time, "Of course."

"It's too risky, guys!! We're just kids and they're stronger than us and they all have guns and advanced technology and - i-it's just not going to happen!"

Lance is conflicted. He is hesitant to agree to altering his genetics but Shiro brings up a valid point. They won't be able to escape let alone survive if they cannot eat anything. His stomach aches and there is nothing he would not do to have a large pizza all to himself at this very moment. He is not looking forward to the idea of trying countless more dishes only to hurl them back up. It is bad enough that his skin burns and there is nothing he can do about that but wait it out.

"We should try the serum," Lance says soberly. "We can't die in space when we have an option to survive. And Keith - despite his strangeness - is fine even though he's half-alien. I think it is a risk we have to take."

"Thanks, Lance," Keith mutters dryly with an eye roll. "Me being galra still doesn't guarantee anything though. There's a number of things that could go wrong since it's foreign to all of your bodies."

"With the level of their technology," Katie starts, "I wouldn't be surprised if they are capable of altering only our stomachs. I don't care if my stomach is galra if it means I can finally eat something."

"I agree with her," Lance says. "I want food. And normal skin again."

"You guys aren't thinking straight!" Hunk snaps. "You don't know what kind of side effects it might have - what if it  _ changes you,  _ what-what if it  _ kills you?!  _ We should all sleep on this and  _ think  _ about it instead of letting your stomachs decide for you!"

In great irony of the situation, Hunk's stomach growls stupendously loud. They all give him a variety of expectant looks and let out a string of frustrated sighs.

"Hunk, I understand your concern," Shiro says softly. "This is a serious matter that we need to sleep on before rushing into anything that we may regret. But at the same time, the human body can only last so many days without food, and even less without water. The constant throwing up is making us all dehydrated. I think all of us are more scared of the inevitable than any side effects the serum may have."

"I too observed their medical equipment," Adam adds. "They have machinery that humanity has only dreamed about perfecting. We don't exactly have options in this matter and doctor Tejal's research and methods seem precise and thorough." He pauses for a moment, his eyes hard against the ground. "I think we need to make a decision by tomorrow night, or the next morning at the latest. Otherwise, we're going to start facing even worse problems."

"I agree... there are too many unknowns for our future, but there is one certainty: at this rate we're going to starve. If there is something that can be done to avoid that, it'll be in our best interest to try."

None of them have an appetite for dinner and end up going to bed early, feelings of conflict and uncertainty clouding all of their minds. Lance is given a salve to slather upon the dark red splotches of his allergic reaction, but it provides little relief to his burning skin. He lays in bed staring at the ceiling as he yearns for his family, wondering if they already know that he is missing. He wonders if they will diligently search for him, or if they figure he ran away and would come back eventually, or if they fear he was kidnapped and sold as a slave or lost and dead in a ditch somewhere. He wonders how his mother is handling the news, and if anyone is comforting the Paladins' families through this time. He can’t even imagine what Katie's family must be going through...

He cannot sleep but is still startled a few hours later when there is a knock on his door, nearly falling out of bed from his startle. Hunk continues to snore like a hibernating bear but Lance carefully steps towards the sliding door and opens it to find Katie, nervously staring at the ground and holding one of her arms.

"Hey, what's up?" Lance's voice cracks and he clears his throat awkwardly. "You all right?"

"I..." She blinks a few times then lifts her exhausted gaze to meet his. Her hair is tousled from tossing and turning and although it resembles a barrel of hay, he thinks it is pretty. "I can't sleep."

He raises his eyebrows and carefully steps outside of the room, closing the door behind him so they won't disturb Hunk. "Do you need someone to talk to?"

Katie is quiet for a moment, then shakes her head. "I just... I want to be with someone right now... I-I'm used to my dog sleeping with me and it's... I feel so alone..."

"Oh... well, the couch out here is comfy, so maybe we could lay down for a bit?"

She nods quietly, leading the way to the conversation pit and curling up in one of the corners. Lance steps down and joins her, wrapping his arms around her when she snuggles close to his chest. He tries to ignore the itch on his skin and instead focuses on Katie's warmth.

"What if Honerva's right?" Katie asks quietly.

"How do you mean?"

"What if the prophecy  _ is _ true? I've been thinking about it all night... even by the slim chance we  _ do _ manage to escape and find our way back home before starving in space, Honerva said our planet would not be safe if we don't save the universe... that it would eventually be targeted as well..."

Lance cannot deny those same thoughts are occupying the worried parts of his mind as well. There are so many thoughts gnawing at his mind that he cannot focus on anything in particular aside from his overwhelming homesickness. He is surprised Katie is able to concentrate on their future when she has far heavier sorrow weighing on her mind. If Lance was in her shoes, he is certain he would not be able to dwell on anything aside from his mother.

"It really makes me wonder if escaping would be a poor decision in the long run..." Lance laments. He does not particularly like the idea of staying and doing whatever the aliens instructed, but he could not live with himself if he selfishly ran away at the cost of Earth eventually being overruled or worse, destroyed entirely. "Maybe we need to stay a bit longer before deciding whether to run away or not. We need more info, and we need to be able to eat because who knows how far away we are from Earth?"

"Forty-seven point six light-years," she answers so nonchalantly.

"That's... holy crow that's a  _ lot _ , right?"

"About thirty-two solar systems away... so yeah... it's a long ways away."

"There's no way we can travel that long without any food... I mean,  _ Keith  _ would survive. But the rest of us would never be able to escape."

Katie is silent for a moment. In the mass uncertainty they both face, Lance is grateful he has so many wonderful people to stand by his side. He knew Katie for a mere two days but he already feels like she is someone he has known for years. Finally she speaks, her voice tugging at nostalgia. "I always believed aliens could exist...  _ did _ exist... but never could I imagine I would be abducted and experimented on by them..."

"Yeah..." He releases a heavy sigh, holding onto her a little tighter. He feels a primal instinct rise within him, an urge consuming his heart to protect her. He barely knows her but he cannot stand the thought of letting anything happen to her. He will do whatever he can to stop the aliens from hurting her and if he is powerless, then he vows he will not allow her to suffer alone. "It's all crazy, isn't it?" he says with a half-hearted laugh. "We all dreamed of one day going to space but none of us could ever imagine it would happen like this... what was it you dreamed of becoming, Katie? I mean... what did you want to do when you joined the Garrison?"

She lets out a thoughtful hum, pondering her answer for a moment. "Well... I've always been interested in both science and technology, and while I liked the idea of pursuing a biochem or aeronautical engineer major, I've... I've actually always dreamed of being a pilot..."

"Really?" Lance leans back a bit to look at her embarrassed expression. The bright blush covering her cheeks causes her freckles to stand out and he finds it cute. "I wouldn't guess someone as smart as you would want to be a pilot... I mean that's what Keith and I are-  _ were _ aiming to become..."

"I-I know it's not - that I should pursue something more intellectual, but... I love the idea of flying. I want to be out on the front lines and in the action, not behind some computer in a safe room while others are risking their lives."

He is not expecting such an answer from the tiny Paladin. She Is clever and ambitious and has a daring streak and he is surprised to admit he likes the prospect of flying alongside her in the war they will inevitably have to participate...

"You can certainly be both," he says. "I don't see why you should limit yourself to being one or the other, especially when you're capable of doing both."

"You really think so?" She looks up at him, her golden eyes normally burdened with such grief finally holding a glimmer of certitude, shining like a promising sunset for a brighter tomorrow. "You think I can fulfill my potential  _ and _ follow my dreams?"

Lance nods with an encouraging grin. "I believe it. Even if we don't end up being the Paladins or whatever, I believe we're all going to accomplish great things. I can feel it."

Katie's face transforms into a relieved smile, her tense body finally relaxing against his chest. It is the first time he has seen her smile and it warms his heart in a way he can't quite describe. 

"Thank you, Lance," she whispers before burying her face into his chest.

He leans back and holds her close, the human contact a comfort that causes him to forget about his irritated skin and puts his mind at ease, if only for the briefest of moments. He has no doubt they can get through everything the unfamiliar situation throws at them because they have each other.

And it is ultimately through each other that they will survive.


	5. The Awakening

Katie can't remember being in one of Tejal's rooms but she awakens on a hospital bed (which she has to admit, is far more comfortable than the ones back on Earth) with an IV strapped to her left forearm. She lays there in confusion for a moment, recalling through her memories as to how she got here, and tries to slowly sit up only to see doctor Tejal enter the room.

"Ah, you're awake," she greets. "I guess your tiny body absorbed everything faster than the boys."

"Absorbed? What?" she asks blearily, her senses still dulled.

"Hmm... you don't remember." She frowns slightly in one corner of her jagged mouth, picking up a tablet and making a quick note. "Must be the alkylating agent causing your brain to fog. I'm sure you'll remember in a few hours as it flushes out of your system. It's pretty common for most patients to not remember going in for surgery-"

"SURGERY?!"

Tejal's ear's flick nervously. "Shhh, Paladin Katie, you'll wake my other patients. You and your human companions agreed to take in galra DNA - that's why you're here."

"I-I thought that would just be a simple injection?"

"Not quite." She moves to check Katie's stats on the datapad attached to the side of the bed, pressing a few buttons which create soft beeps as she continues to talk. "If we wanted to risk further complications or side effects, we would have done an injection. It was only a minor surgery, but one we concluded would be the easiest approach to changing your molecular structure. You seem to be taking to the IV fluids well."

"That's hardly a step towards being able to eat alien food, though..." she says hesitantly as if she can't decide how to feel about the situation. She does not feel any pain aside from the slight pinch of the needle in her arm but somehow she feels strange knowing that her biology was changed and she has no memory of it happening. In the back of her mind, a concern rises up and grasps her neck like cold hands, but something starts beeping and the doctor breaks her thoughts.

"I have to tend to Paladin Lance, he's awake now," she says as she turns off the alarm on her wrist device. "I will return to check on you again."

Left to her own devices, Katie is now filled with thoughts of her teammates. What if they didn't accept the galra gene and had complications? What if one of them  _ does _ die, as Hunk had worried? Apparently they all agreed to this, or at least that's what Tejal leads her to believe. She cannot rest until she knows everyone is fine and that they all accepted this of their own volition. For all she knows, maybe they  _ did  _ agree to take on the DNA but didn't know it would entail surgery. How much was divulged to them at the time of their decision?

She observes no restraints, just the IV and usual obsidian bracelet clasped around her wrist adorned with a neon green light. There are no guards in the room but there certainly could be guards or sentries posted right outside her door.

She wears nothing but a thin hospital gown similar to ones she would find back home except there are no sleeves and it feels more like she is wearing a strange apron. She looks around her skin to find bandages or scars but there is  _ nothing.  _ Unless the surgery was administered somewhere abnormal where she couldn't see such as her back or neck, they removed all traces of the operation ever taking place.

That thought sends a shiver up her spine.

Katie rummages through her copious amounts of scientific knowledge, trying to recall the drug Tejal mentioned earlier.  _ Alkylating agent, alkylating agent, alkylating agent _ . What is it? If she understands the drug perhaps she can gain a better grasp of their situation. She knows alkyl is related to the alkane hydrocarbon, but what does it do as a drug? Methane is the simplest alkane, but she can't imagine the drug is akin to a poisonous gas. She wishes she studied more organic chemistry or had her brother so she could ask him questions. Maybe Tejal would be open to discussing the procedure with her, but Katie is also hesitant to ask.

Time passes and she has to wonder if the other Paladins are waking up. Are any of them having adverse effects? Katie had read several articles on the science of splicing and genetic engineering since it is incredibly fascinating to her. She remembered her mother explaining how grafting works in plants and how it is a similar process for biological creatures... the memory leaves an ache in her chest and she can't help her eyes becoming wet, but she pulls her knees into her chest and tries to focus on the puzzle at hand.

She shifts her position to look at the datapad on the side of her bed to find any sort of clues but everything is in an alien language. The only bits of information she can read is a few bars filled to certain levels, but that knowledge is useless without knowing the measurements in question. She leans back against the elevated bed, her mind swarming with thoughts. The last thing she remembers is her fellow human companions discussing the possibility of taking on galra DNA.  _ What happened after that? _

Katie hates not knowing. Normally she would find a book or search the internet for an answer on how something works when she doesn’t quite understand it, but she has no access to anything in her language. And there is nothing she can do about her missing memory until it comes back.  _ If _ it comes back.

She is left alone with all her conflicting and worrisome thoughts as she tries to connect the missing link between alkylating agent and genetic engineering. Eventually, Tejal returns and Katie feels the urge to ask the doctor about the operation suddenly rising out of her throat like a violent hiccup.

"Tejal?"

"Yes, Paladin Katie?" She presses more buttons on the datapad on the bed as she checks her stats. "I think you and your friends will be able to return to your quarters tomorrow morning. I'd like you all to rest here for one more night."

"Oh..." Her mouth runs dry, the intravenous injection in her arm feeling more prominent than before. "I... I was just wondering..."

Tejal pauses what she is doing and lifts her eyes to meet hers. Her scalera is a bright yellow like most galra, but her irises (which she actually has) are a pretty shade of indigo instead of the usual amethyst. It makes Katie wonder if she is unique among galra or possibly shared heritage with another species.

"Uhm... I'm really interested in science and was wondering if you could... explain to me what you did exactly... I'm trying to think how an alkylating agent would advance genetic splicing."

A glimpse of apprehension flashes in her eyes but it is quickly gone. She raises one eyebrow. "You know quite a bit for someone your age."

Katie nods. "My parents are scientists."

"The agent is an antineoplastic, it helps link strands of DNA together. It forms healthy bonds with the two strands of genetics so your body doesn't reject the foreign substance."

_ Antineoplastic... _ Katie  _ knows _ she has heard that word before, but in what context? She doesn't want to ask too many questions for fear of Tejal refusing to tell her anything more. "Oh, I see... have you studied genetics, or do you have an assistant help with that?"

"Galran doctors are expected to master all fields of biology. I am not only a doctor, I am many things," she explains. "Galra have a much higher healing rate than you humans so I rarely spend my time actually healing patients - I delve more time in enhancement and experimentation."

Katie swallows hard, wondering what kind of "enhancements" they would receive, and if they are all merely experiment subjects in her eyes. Yet she feels confident that Tejal is intelligent and knows the exact science behind what she is doing. While Katie is nervous about what would happen to them, she does not feel she is under the thumb of a mad scientist. She has the small piece of mind that Tejal will be thorough in preventing any adverse side effects or death.

"How are you feeling, Katie?" Tejal asks as she grabs a datapad from the counter. "Any pain anywhere, headache, stomachache, soreness, fatigue?"

"Oh... I'm feeling fine, I think?"

"Are you hungry?"

"Hung-" She realizes now that she does not feel the ache in her stomach she had ever since they were kidnapped. She wouldn't say her stomach feels  _ full,  _ but it certainly doesn't feel like it was about to collapse in on itself. "I'm actually not..." She slightly tilts her head in question. "Why is that?"

Tejal taps the IV line with her stylus. "I've been feeding you nutrients, not just liquids. It seems the genetic fusion is a success, but we won't know for certain until you eat solid foods. We'll wait until tomorrow for that however, to give your bodies more time to fully adjust."

"Shouldn't it take more than one day to... to... adjust?" She isn't sure what word she is looking for, but it does not seem possible to be genetically altered overnight.

"You've been in here for three days now, I think that is plenty of time to adjust," she says so nonchalantly it causes Katie's head to spin.

"Three... days?" she says it so softly she barely even registers it.

Tejal must have heard it. "All of you were out until now... you actually adapted far quicker than I anticipated, so your results are excellent." She must see the concern in her face because her expression softens. "The boys are all doing well. I'm confident that you will all be perfectly fine and you should be able to finally eat food again starting tomorrow morning."

She taps a few more things on her datapad and begins to leave, pausing in the doorway. "Rest well, Paladin Katie. Your classes will start tomorrow."

And with that, Katie is left to a room of silence and a head full of burning questions.

* * *

Katie is bored to tears the whole day but she rests as much as she can when her mind is running a hundred miles an hour. She can only imagine what their "classes" will entail, but if they are destined to save the universe she doubts they will be learning about astrophysics or calculus.

Doctor Tejal checks in every few hours, but her last check-in before the deemed "bedtime" (time is strange in space) she comes into Katie's room with an armful of knitted plush animals.

"Paladin Lance... ahhm...  _ crafted _ these for everyone," the doctor says, uncertain of the word to describe how they were made. "He started on them before you were administered into surgery and said everyone must have told him their favorite creature but he can't remember which one goes to who so you're supposed to select which one is supposed to be yours... is what he told me."

Katie blinks several times in bewilderment. She observes there are five plushies which means Lance asked Tejal to have Katie pick first. She does not linger on the other forms long enough to identify the other animals but instead, her eyes become misty when she sees the bright green-colored owl with large, lopsided eyes that is obviously meant for her.

"That one..." She points since Tejal would not know what an owl is. When the doctor hands it to her, her eyes water and she holds it carefully in her hands as if it were made of glass. She had no idea Lance could knit, and while his handiwork is far better than she could ever do she can tell it is amateur work, one eye slightly larger than the other and the horns on top of its head a bit askew. The colors are quirky and contrasting but Katie assumes Lance worked with whatever materials he could get. The plushie is messy but that only makes it more endearing to her.

"Paladin Katie... are you alright? Does Paladin Lance's gift upset you?"

"Oh, what? No," she mutters and wipes her eyes with the heel of one of her hands. "I'm just... really happy is all. Please tell Lance thank you for me."

"I will," Tejal says with a smile and a nod. "Have a good sleep."

"Thank you..." she answers weakly, her voice still thick with emotion. Tejal leaves the room and turns off the main overhead lights, leaving Katie in a room dark enough to sleep in but lit up enough by the machine lights that she feels like she is back in her bedroom with her glow in the dark stars scattered all over the walls.

The owl in her hands reminds her of the owl plush back home on Earth her mother bought for her sixth birthday. She holds it close to her chest, burying her face into its big dopey eyes and crying. It is such a simple gesture but the owl makes her feel like her mother is here with her, comforting her when she is scared and keeping the loneliness at bay.

It isn't much in the dark uncertainty of her new reality, but the owl gives her a comfort and hope that things will work out, that she will be okay.

That they will  _ all _ be okay, because at least they have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking [Bad Things Happen Bingo prompts](https://anchoredtether.tumblr.com/tagged/shatter-and-tessellate) for this project! Feel free to [send me an ask](https://anchoredtether.tumblr.com/ask) requesting what prompt you'd like to see next! I'll try to do them in the order I receive them but some might come later for plot purposes.


	6. Uncertainty

_ "Santo cuervo," _ Lance exclaims as he digs into his bowl of steaming noodles. "This space ramen is out of this world."

"Literally," Hunk agrees with a giggle. "The forks they use here are… strangely efficient," he remarks as he winds up more noodles with the long, two-pronged utensil.

They could finally eat solid food; Tejal gave the okay shortly after they were released from the medical wing. After studying their bodily reactions to the IV fluids for a few days, she determined they adapted enough to tolerate galran cuisine. Lance has little else on his mind, content to finally satisfy the ache in his stomach with something truly substantial. But it seems everyone else is in a dour mood and it starts to ruin the taste of his noodles.

"No one else could find a scar on their body?" Katie asks warily, staring blankly into her bowl.

"Nothing..." Adam answers. "Makes me wonder if they somehow altered our genetics through nasogastric or orogastric tubes, but Tejal said it was a surgical procedure and that implies the use of incisions."

"Gasty-what tubes?" Lance asks with an arched brow.

"They're feeding tubes that go through your nose or through your mouth to reach your stomach," Katie explains so matter-of-factly. How this ten-year-old knows so much is beyond Lance. "There has to be something they did to heal our scars so quickly, or maybe we were under for longer than they're telling us..."

"Something I've been wondering..." Keith starts, his expression disturbed, "is why they did the operation on me as well when I'm… I'm already half galra… it just doesn't add up."

A silence stretches between them all as they sit at the table in their living quarters, everyone pondering the strange situation and questionable variables. Lance interrupts the somber mood when he obnoxiously slurps up the last of his noodles and broth, setting his bowl down with a loud refreshing sigh.

"Well I don't know about you guys, but I could enjoy a few more bowls of that!"

"How can you only think about  _ noodles _ at a time like this!?" Katie snarls with indignant eyes.

"Eat some more and you'll find out," Lance argues. "Are you going to finish yours?" He leans over to see her bowl is barely touched, while the rest of the boys are nearly finished with their portions.

She sighs heavily, slowly sliding the bowl over to him. "I don't have much appetite anyway."

"Aren't you starving though?" Hunk asks with narrowed eyes. "You haven't eaten for days, you should eat some more."

"I..." Her eyes fall to the bowl near Lance, her arms folding across her stomach. "I think I just need more time to adjust is all. I'm probably having symptoms of refeeding syndrome."

"Make sure you keep Tejal updated about your symptoms, Katie," Shiro cautions. "She may have some drink options for you to get your nutrients instead."

She nods, sliding her bowl the last few inches towards Lance as her confirmation that he can indulge in her unfinished portion. He makes a happy sound as he takes the bowl and begins inhaling noodles.

"Adam, you seem to know medical terms pretty well," Katie starts, her eyes curious, "do you know what an alkylating agent would do to help contribute to genetic mutation?"

"Alkylating agent?" His eyebrows rise. "Like an antineoplastic?"

"Oh!" Lance exclaimes with a mouth full of noodles which he quickly swallows. "I've heard that term before!"

"Yeah, Tejal mentioned antineoplastic as well," Katie says. "She said it would help link the two DNAs together by forming healthy bonds."

"It's used in chemotherapy treatments," Adam explains. "But its main purpose is to damage the DNA of cancer cells...I'm wondering how it would be used to genetically alter our DNA."

"Cancer cells mutate DNA, right?" Lance asks. "So why would they use something that's meant to destroy the thing that changes our DNA?"

Katie blinks a few times, looking appalled that Lance gave an intellectual answer. He can see the gears clicking in her mind as she comes to a conclusion. "What if they're simply trying to destroy our human DNA?" she suggests, her expression horrified.

"And replace it with Galra?" Keith concludes her train of thought.

"Woah woah woah, guys, slow down," Hunk says with his hands up. "I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. We don't even know for sure if we can digest galran cuisine. Unless we all start turning purple I don't think we need to worry yet. You all said so yourselves, that their technology is way advanced and they probably did a complicated surgery to make sure they only changed our digestive tracts."

_ "You've _ pulled a one-eighty," Katie mutters. "What happened to being terrified of galra DNA changing us?"

"I  _ am _ still terrified of that! Doesn't mean I can't be  _ reasonable  _ about everything happening!"

"It's too early to start panicking," Shiro agrees. "We should wait and see how we digest the food, and perhaps when our memory of the days leading up to the surgery return to us, we'll have a clearer picture of what's happening."

"Besides," Hunk adds, "Keith is half galra and he looks totally human. So I doubt some galra DNA would be able to change us so easily."

"Genetics are not that simple, Hunk," Katie protests, but lets out a defeated sigh before sliding her chair back and leaving the dining table to go lay down in the conversation pit. Lance sees her curl up in one of the corners of the couch, hugging her owl plushie close to her chest.

Lance finishes his second serving and leaves the table as well, everyone else continuing to discuss their recent surgeries. He joins Katie in the conversation pit, sitting close enough to let her know he is there but outside of her personal space. He is aware of the many stresses they are all experiencing but Katie seems even more perturbed by something.

"Are you alright?" he asks as he fiddles with the bracelet on his wrist.

She doesn't answer for a moment, her eyes trained on the floor. "Yeah," she says softly, unconvincingly. "...it's a lot to take in and I feel so… unprepared. I hate not knowing. I wish I had my books, my datapad, something! I wish I had my mom to ask questions… she would know all about this kind of stuff."

"I wish they explained more to us," he agrees. "I can't help the feeling that they're keeping things from us. A-and it might not be anything…  _ bad, _ exactly, but they might not be telling us everything because they think we're too young to understand or something."

"...Tejal seemed surprised I knew as much as I did."

"Well," Lance gives a humored scoff, "everyone is always surprised at how much you know, Katie. Is there anything you  _ don't _ know?"

"There's  _ plenty _ I don't know!" she counters, her hardened eyes meeting his gaze defensively. "Especially now, there's so much I don't-"

"Hey, slow down," he says with a laugh. "That was supposed to be a compliment. Sorry it didn't… quite come out right."

"Oh." Her features soften and she looks away in embarrassment, pulling her knees closer to her chest. "I'm… I'm really bad at social interaction, I'm sorry. People are difficult for me to understand."

"It's okay! People are ridiculously complicated, so I get it." He can only imagine it is impossibly worse for her now that she has an alien species to try and understand as well. "My whole family is pretty extroverted but for some reason my twin sister Rachel is the biggest introvert you'll ever meet. She has a hard time with people too."

"It's not like I don't like being around people I just… struggle with it. It's exhausting."

"Well… if you ever want to be left alone, just let me know - I won't be offended or anything. I'm used to it with my sister." He lets out a soft chuckle, his eyes training on how close she holds the owl he made her. "I'm flattered you really like the owl I made despite its derpiness."

"But I like its derpiness," she mutters. "How did you even get your hands on knitting needles anyways?"

"I uhh… used these really thick medical needles from Tejal."

Katie's eyes widen in horror. "Just how thick and long are they?!"

"You wanna see 'em?" Lance asks with a wicked grin. He starts to get up and heads towards his room. "Come on, I can show you how lopsided my hammerhead shark turned out too."

* * *

Tejal assesses them all the next morning, determining that they can digest solid food without any problems. Katie is given pouches of liquid nutrients for her meals while the boys continue trying new foods.

Katie lights up like a child on Christmas morning when Honerva gives them all their own personal datapad, full of materials and resources to learn and study so they can catch up to where they should be by galran educational standards. Honerva informs them they will be joining a class within the next movement - which they learned was about a week - and to study as much as they could while they recovered. Tejal continually checks on them to make sure no complications arise and Katie begins eating solid food after a few days, much to Lance's relief. He has a hard time telling if he is eating more than usual to make up for all the days with no food or if he is experiencing some kind of growth spurt, but he is constantly hungry and no matter how much he eats he feels like he needs more. He asks Tejal about it and she says it is probably part of him growing up into an adult.

It doesn't worry him too much. He saw firsthand how much his older brothers ate when they were his age. He remembers his mother scolding Luis and Marco on many occasions where they didn't leave enough servings for their younger siblings. He wonders if that means he will grow to be as tall as them.

The Paladins spend a lot of time together studying in the conversation pit, helping each other to understand the materials. Lance never could have predicted that when he got abducted by aliens he would have to do  _ schoolwork,  _ but here he is. The galran empire focuses on a lot of the same subjects as the Garrison - science, physics, mathematics, strategy. It oddly feels familiar even though they are trying to learn everything in a different language.

When they are not studying or eating, most of them take naps. Everyone is always exhausted and none of them can figure out why. They eventually come to the conclusion it has to be their bodies adjusting to the galran DNA, but Katie thinks it is strange to have such side effects if Tejal claimed they are acclimating just fine.

Lance has a feeling Katie is the smartest one in the room and if she is worried, he has cause to worry. His mind buzzes with too many galran words and scientific problems that he cannot think about much aside from trying to rest his head. He decides to take a hot bath to try and unwind from all the built up stress, grateful that galran culture utilizes both showers and baths. Tejal must have given them enough galran DNA to alter their skin as well because the soaps and shampoos don't cause any allergic reactions since the procedure.

This is the only time Lance truly has to himself. He is constantly surrounded by others, even when he sleeps at night since he shares a room with Hunk. His shower or bath time is the only moment where he can release all his overwhelming feelings and cry. He misses his family unbearably and he is scared for the future and uncertain about all the changes in their lives. While it is certainly shocking for him at first, he just now starts to truly fathom the gravity of the situation of how they were kidnapped by aliens (and that aliens  _ exist)  _ and altered with alien genetics. Despite Tejal's kindness and Honerva's reassurances, Lance can’t help the feeling that his life somehow turned into a sci-fi horror.

And the worst part is that he  _ agreed _ to it.

In his attempts to destress he only gets more anxious with doubtful questions haunting his mind. He has to wonder if everyone else feels the same uneasiness or if he is being paranoid. He has a tendency to overthink things and one of his sisters would usually take him on an excursion to distract him. His favorite days were ones where Rachel took him to go get ice cream or when Veronica brought him along for an afternoon at the spa. He doesn't have an outlet like that anymore, but he hopes he can find something to do with one of his friends here to get his mind off things. Something other than another galran puzzle or strategy game on their datapads.

As he dries his hair he pulls off the towel and sees something in the mirror that catches his eye. He turns his head to the side to see something along the back of his neck and upon closer inspection as he steps towards the mirror, he sees that it is discoloration. Dark blue splotches not unlike the rashes he once had run all along the back of his neck. It doesn't itch or burn and when he presses his fingers against it, it doesn't hurt like a bruise.

Confusion seeps through his veins and his hands begin to shake. He has no idea what this is and nothing makes sense unless it is some kind of disease or strange reaction. He immediately thinks about going to Tejal to ask her about this and then it clicks in his mind why the abnormal color on his skin looks oddly familiar.

_ Tejal's skin is the same exact color. _

It isn't a rash or a bruise or a reaction...it is galran skin.


	7. A Different Name

Lance is conflicted about what he should do. He wonders if he should show everyone the discoloring of his skin or try to hide  it and do his best to ignore it, but he realizes that would be difficult when it’s on the back of his neck and likely to spread to the front as well as his face. He never thought he’d wish this, but he wants nothing more than to borrow Rachel’s foundation as if he were only trying to hide acne or a hickey.

He knows he has to at least inform Tejal - it might be a side effect she can fix. The horrifying thought enters his head that he is the only one adversely affected by the serum and he will inevitably turn galra while his friends remain human. He takes a few deep breaths to steady himself before throwing on his nightwear and rushing out of the shared living space as fast as he can so no one will see his neck. Before he can leave their quarters, a sentry confronts him.

"Leaving is prohibited," one of them drones. "Please return to your sleeping quarters."

"I know, I know, I need to see Doctor Tejal though, it's urgent!" 

"You do not exhibit any signs of a medical emergency-" 

"I need to talk to her though!!" 

"Paladin, please return to your sleeping quarters." 

Right before he decides to try his chances and rush the AI to sprint towards the medical wing, Honerva appears, her eyes expectant. Lance has a fleeting moment of confliction, uncertain if she is here to scold him or help him. 

"What is the matter, Paladin Lance?" Her expression is hard to read but her tone is pleasant, concerned. 

"I… I need to see Tejal," he answers simply.

She frowns, her eyes searching. "Something's happened, hasn't it?" 

He swallows hard, rubbing the back of his neck both out of nervousness and hesitancy to show the discolored skin to her. "I think it's a side effect of the galra DNA..." 

She pulls up her sleeve to expose her inner forearm and he's shocked to find similar blueish-purple splotches marking her skin, though hers appear to be a darker purple. "Is it anything like this?" 

"Y-yeah..." He looks up at her with wide eyes. He vaguely remembers Honerva offering to take on galra DNA with all the Paladins but he didn't think she actually went through with it. As much as he hates to admit it, he is relieved there is someone else experiencing something similar to him. He turns around and removes his hand so she can see his neck.

"We should have Tejal look it over," she decides, beckoning him as she leads him down the hallways of the massive ship. Once they arrive, Tejal carefully inspects their discolored skin and runs some scans. She then draws a curtain between Lance and Honerva for privacy and works on administering an allergy test on both of their backs. The different substances are cold against his skin and Lance is anxious about his results. He has a feeling he will be allergic to all of them, but now that he is apparently  _ becoming _ galra, perhaps none of them would have an effect - just like with the food. 

"Do any of the other Paladins have side effects?" Tejal asks, pressing buttons on the touchscreen of her datapad. 

His stomach twists at her question. "Not that I know of..." He realizes it was selfish of him to run away when he should have first seen if they were all okay. They are all in this together but he let his fear get to his head and left his teammates behind.

“I’ll do a follow up on everyone in the morning and analyze your allergy test results. Until then, the best recommendation I can give is to rest.” She gives both Honerva and Lance some medication to help them sleep and dismisses them from her office.

Lance is grateful for the medication because it helps his ever rampant mind fall into unconsciousness.

And then the next day is absolute chaos.

Tejal and Honerva wake the Paladins early in the morning and announce Lance and Honerva’s skin condition before Lance even has a chance to tell the others or at least confide with Hunk. Tejal says she wants to examine all of them again so she can find any reactions or complications with the serum. Everyone sends worried glances towards Lance as Tejal explains the circumstances and he feels his cheeks heat up as he tries to avoid everyone’s curious gaze. The morning is spent in the medical wing with Tejal checking Honerva and Lance’s allergy tests, running bloodwork, and various checkups on all the Paladins. According to the test, Lance isn't allergic to any of the substances tested on his back and he cannot tell if that's a good or bad sign. It isn’t until lunchtime (with a dish that resembles pulled pork) that Lance has a chance to talk to the others. There is awkward silence until he finally figures out what to say.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell any of you.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Shiro reassures him. “You only found out late last night, right? It’s not like you were exactly hiding it from any of us.”

“I still feel bad though…”

“I’m sure any of us would have done the same,” Adam says. “Something like this would take time to process.”

“Does this mean we’re all going to turn purple?” Katie idly wonders as she pokes at her food with her utensil.

Hunk lets out a gasp. “Guys! What if it’s the food?!”

“What do you mean?” 

“Lance had double servings the other day and his skin is changing first!”

Lance’s eyes widen mid-chew. “Yurr wite!”

“I doubt the food has anything to do with it,” Katie groans. “Besides, even if it _is_ the food, we can’t just _stop eating._ That would put us back where we started with this whole mess.”

A few groans and sighs pass between them and then it is silent again.

"We're starting training tomorrow," Shiro reminds them. "We'll need all the strength we can get. This was a risk we all took into consideration before accepting galra DNA, a risk we were all willing to live with so long as it meant we  _ could _ live." 

"Well... at least we _assume_ we all agreed to it," Hunk says. "I still don't have any memory from right before the surgery." 

"Same..." Katie mutters. "I don't remember anything. But we had to have agreed to it, as a team. Unless... unless they..." 

"Unless the galra knocked us out and changed us against our will and claimed we had 'memory loss'," Lance says with finger air quotes, his expression set into a scowl. "I would never agree to changing my skin color." 

"If you were starving to death you might," Adam counters dryly. 

He stares at the older Paladin with a deadpan expression, his face slowly softening into a deep pensiveness. "Maybe we all got cabin fever from hunger and ultimately decided to go through with it." 

"I don't think you're using 'cabin fever' correctly," Shiro says. 

"So  _ what _ if we become galra?" Keith asks, turning everyone's attention to him. "Maybe we're supposed to. I mean what are the chances of one of the chosen Paladins already  _ being _ half galra on a planet full of humans? It seems too much of a coincidence. Maybe we can't accomplish this unless we become stronger, and becoming galra happens to be the way to achieve that." 

"It doesn't seem right," Hunk says. "I get that it will be hard to fight this war and all, but can't we do it and remain human? Are we really that weak?" 

There is a silence as everyone soaks in what both Keith and Hunk said, weighing their options until Shiro breaks their thoughts with a sobering reality. "I suppose we'll find out soon enough when we begin our training."

* * *

Lance is certain that training is designed to break them.

They run various obstacle courses and attempt to fight against sentries, but the only ones who stand any kind of chance are Adam and Shiro. The training still humiliates even their seniors and it destroys Lance’s hope to see his role model Shiro completely pummeled into the ground. Their instructor, Commander Bogh, claims they are all “weak, slow, and uncoordinated.”

_ Just how high  _ is _ the galra standard? _

None of them are Olympic level athletes by any means, but they are barely teenagers. Even Adam and Shiro who are both incredibly fit and capable by human standards are nowhere near Bogh’s expectations which he claims were set pretty low to begin with. Lance is familiar with military training from the Garrison but not like this. He feels as though he’s been thrust into some superhuman boot camp when he is only twelve years old and still struggles to perform proper push-ups.

On top of the utter exhaustion from training and all the bruises he is certain will show up in the morning, his skin discoloration appears to be spreading down his back. Keith starts to show purple on his arms though it is a purple closer to most galra as opposed to the blueish hue on Lance's skin. Tejal continues to monitor them and additionally starts to treat their wounds obtained from training. Lance starts to feel numb, day after day of brutal pain and healing ecstasy as his skin slowly becomes less and less human. Hunk is the next one to have his skin change, his a much darker purple than Keith. Shortly after Hunk, Katie begins to show lavender splotches on her stomach. Eventually Shiro and Adam show changes in their skin as well and within two weeks - or two movements - they all show signs that they are slowly becoming galra.

Lance cannot focus on his training as his mind constantly reels with questions about their changing bodies. There is no telling if their skin is the only change that will take place or if they would see further transformations and possibly some complications. Lance can hardly believe that it wasn't long ago that he was on Earth and worrying about studying for his exams and the oncoming annoyance of puberty, and now he is stuck in space training to become a soldier and turning into an alien.

_ What the hell... how did we end up like this? _

After a brutal training with Commander Bogh everyone feels too defeated to say anything as they slowly eat their dinner at the table. Katie especially had the worst beat down of them all, spending more time in the medical wing than the rest of them that evening. When they finish eating, Katie goes immediately to her bedroom, the mechanical door sliding shut behind her.

Lance knows Katie likes her alone time but he remembers how hard the sentries slammed her into the ground earlier today, her anguished cries still ringing in his head. Training is hard on all of them but there is something about seeing the small one harmed that caused something in Lance to snap.

He knocks softly on her door but there is no answer. He stares at the discoloration upon his wrist with a troubled expression but is pulled out of his thoughts when he hears her respond softly on the other side.

"What?"

"Can I come in?"

There is another pause. "Sure."

He finds her sitting on her bed with her knees pulled into her chest, staring out the small circular window that displays the expanse of space outside the ship. Lance hovers by the door for a moment in awkward hesitance until he approaches the bed and sits on the edge.

"Are you okay, Katie?" he asks, feeling the inquiry is lame. None of them are okay but it's the most natural thing to ask at this point.

"Please don't call me Katie."

He blinks several times, completely thrown off by her statement. "Wait... what? What brought this on?"

"I want to be referred to as Pidge now," she begins, never taking her eyes off the window. "Pidge is a nickname my brother gave me." Her voice softens and she buries her head into her knees, her long hair falling like a curtain to hide her face. "Only my mother would call me Katie."

The realization hurts and Lance aches for her pain as well as his own family. He wishes for nothing more than to hug his mother during all this uncertainty but he realizes that Pidge will never get to hug her mother again. The name must have felt like a stabbing reminder of her death every time it was said. 

“Pidge is cute,” he finally says as he nervously rubs his wrist. “Reminds me of Pokemon.” 

She makes a small sound which he thinks is an attempt at a laugh and turns her head to face him, tucking her hair behind her ear. “That’s where Matt got it from, actually.”

He smiles at her. “Is Matt your brother?”

She nods. “I’ve always loved owls, but I had a hard time saying it when I was learning how to talk. I watched Matt play enough video games that I could say ‘Pidgey’ though, and so I started calling any owl I saw as Pidgey. At some point the nickname Pidge stuck.” 

“I see.” He pulls his legs onto the bed, crossing them, and looks out the window with her in shared silence. The only time he ever got to see the stars up close was in the Garrison observatory during one of his many science classes and he always dreamed of one day becoming intimate with the cosmos. While still beautiful in his eyes, the stars are no longer a bright hope but the glittering bars of his prison.

“Are you healing okay?” he asks.

Pidge instinctively lifts a hand to brush the bandages on her cheek. “I think so… thanks to the superjuice they give us. It still hurts though.”

Lance hesitates on his next question, wanting to know if she could confirm his paranoia but also too scared to face the bitter truth if he is right. Yet they are in a strange circumstance where there is no running from their problems and ignoring their fears would only be catastrophic. He gathers enough courage, taking a deep inhale before releasing his heavy inquiry.

“Do you think the quintessence we have daily after being beaten up in training is accelerating… o-our changes?”

“I don’t know.” She frowns. Her eyes are pensive, dark brown in the dim lighting. “I’ve considered quintessence being an accelerant and acting as a stimulant for the changes in our appearance. But there’s too much I don’t know about quintessence to make any solid theories.”

"There's really nothing we can do, is there…" he says it more as a statement than a question. "We can't stop eating and we can't refuse to be healed… without the superjuice there's no way any of us would survive Commander Bogh's training."

"It seems becoming Galra is our only choice…"

Though they both knew it, hearing the words feels like the final nail in their coffin, hammering resolutely into place. They aren't destined to be defenders of the universe. They are doomed to lose their humanity. 

"Victory or death, am I right?" Lance says somberly.

Pidge looks over at him, her expression troubled. "I don't want this… but… I also don't want to die."

"Yeah…" He looks back down at his wrist. Though the only lighting is the faint purple glow from the control panel in her room, Lance can distinctly see the darker splotches of blueish-purple skin as if one of his siblings took a sharpie to his arm. It feels parasitic, like a disease is taking over his body. It causes his stomach to tighten and his limbs to grow weak. The more he thinks about it the more his mind swims, his body overcome with sickening nausea. 

Before he can try to get a grip on his nerves, Pidge is there, wrapping her arms around his waist and burrowing her head into his ribs. He realizes she's crying, albeit softly.

"I'm so scared, Lance." She sniffles. "I can't ever let it show, b-but I'm - I'm terrified. I have always been able to calculate the best approach to whatever life would throw at me, analyze things from every angle, have a solid strategy. But here? Here I'm blind. I know nothing! I can't predict anything! I don't ever know what to expect or prepare for and I don't even know what's happening to any of _us-!"_

"Pidge, woah, slow down." He wraps one arm around her and softly rubs her back with the other. "We're all scared and none of us have any answers either. But I have a feeling Tejal will help us through everything and Honerva is also there to support us." His words feel empty in his lungs, just bland words of comfort he wants to believe despite his growing fear. He hugs her a little tighter, his next words sincere as they come from the bottom of his breaking heart. "And you're not alone. We're all going through this together. Pain shared is pain divided… you can share your pain with me, Pidge. I don't want you to suffer alone."

She nods her head against his side as she gasps between sobs. His shirt is rather damp but he doesn't mind as he sorely yearns for human contact. 

"Do you mind… sleeping in here with me?" she asks so softly and carefully that Lance wonders if she feels ashamed.

"No, that's fine!" He lets out a small nervous laugh. "I used to fall asleep on the couch all the time with my siblings as we watched movies late at night. It'd be nice to have something close to that again."

"The only movies I can play for you are the learning videos on my datapad."

Lance laughs and he's grateful it's contagious because it gets a small giggle out of Pidge too. "Now those will put me right to sleep!"

He knows that part of the reason for Pidge's request has got to be the nightmares. Ever since they all started changing it was obvious they all suffer nightmares of body horror and war. It seems only natural when they're all transforming into something else entirely and preparing to fight as soldiers. Lance leaves her room to get his pillows and let the others know both Pidge's preferred name and that he would sleep by her side that night. They all understood and Shiro specifically expresses his thanks to Lance for looking out for her. It leaves him flushed with happy butterflies in his stomach to hear his role model praise him for his actions. 

He just wants Pidge to know she is loved.

And that despite losing her mother, she is not alone.

She snuggles in close to him that night, holding her knitted owl plush and resting her head against his chest. He gently strokes her hair until his hand grows tired and for the first time since being kidnapped, he feels peace.

He hopes deep in his heart that Pidge feels it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are super appreciated! Let me know what you think! <3


	8. The Jaws That Bite

Pidge is bombarded with all kinds of contradictions. The pain they suffer through training should be impossible to endure and yet the quintessence they are administered heals their wounds like magic. Their bodies changing did not have any ill side effects and yet the thought of turning galra makes their minds sick with anxiety. They all trust Honerva and Tejal even though reason tells them they shouldn’t. 

It feels as if they have no other options.

And what if Keith is right? What if they  _ are _ supposed to become galra, just like how they are destined to save the galaxy from ruin? She tries to believe in it all and that everything so far is meant to happen but it is difficult to persuade herself when her skin is becoming less and less human. Everyone’s hair starts changing color as well, and though the boys mostly have dark shades of purple hers is turning a much lighter shade of lavender-pink and it reminds her of bubblegum. With such odd colors none of them would feel out of place in a rock band. Pidge thinks she’d prefer that, but each gaze at her skin changing color destroys that playful illusion.

Commander Bogh continues to put them to the test, claiming the simulation bots are only on the easy setting. Not even Adam and Shiro can defeat them and Pidge has to wonder how much more they must endure. Would they ever become strong enough? If not, would Honerva turn them away or force them to fit the mold of the destined Paladins?

Every evening they are too exhausted both physically and mentally from training with Bogh and studying an entire new galaxy's worth of culture, history, tradition, and scientific advancements. Lance complains that his brain is going to explode and Hunk groans about having a heart attack one of these days and they both joke how the galra would figure out a way to put them back together regardless. At first Pidge thought they were both annoying but now she's starting to see their ridiculous jokes as highly probable events. There is only so much they can handle and it seems they are being forced to handle as much as possible with no reprieve aside from meals and checkups with Tejal.

She still wonders what exactly quintessence is doing to their bodies.

Initially she thought it was some kind of vitamin boost, possibly even similar to caffeine, but now she isn't so certain. It clearly has healing properties as well as rejuvenation. Anything she can think of from Earth doesn't quite match the properties and effects of quintessence. When she tries prodding Tejal more about it she only offers vague answers. Energy of the universe... energy in its purest form... strength of the stars...

It simply sounds too good to be true.

There is nothing in the universe that gives without a price.

"Wait - what do you mean Shiro and Adam are being relocated?" Pidge asks as she, Lance, Keith, and Hunk are suited up and ready for more sparring with the practice bots in the spacious training room.

Bogh gives her his usual stern look. "Since they are older they will go through different training. If they are to be accepted into galra society they need to be brought up to speed. You earthlings are decapheobs behind where the average galra your age would be."

"What is THAT supposed to mean?" Lance snaps, and Pidge could have sworn she hears some kind of growl afterward.

"Galra your age are faster, stronger, and bigger. They are better strategists and fighters. Most galra your age are getting ready for their Agotian trials or have already completed it."

"Agotian trials?" Keith asks. "What's that?"

"It's the coming of age test," Pidge answers for him. She has a better time retaining all the information thrown at them in their studies. "You're not recognized as an adult or even galra until it is completed." She returns her attention back to the commander. "And you're telling me most galra complete it in their early teens?"

"Our record age for completion of the Agotian trials is eight pheobs. It is a disgrace to not have it finished by the time one turns thirteen," he answers menacingly. "Which means half of you earthlings have already failed, and two of you are almost out of time. It seems only Paladin Pidge has a chance of properly proving herself worthy."

"If it's too late for us then what's the point?" Keith asks the question that is burning in all their minds.

Bogh pauses for a moment and looks at each of them before speaking. "Not only will it help prepare you to become the destined Paladins, but it will force all galra to recognize you as such. There are many who believe you earthlings are nothing but a joke and that there is no way you can save the galaxy from ruin. The path you Paladins walk will not be an easy one. You can use all the support you can earn, and completing the Agotian trials just might save your skin."

"That's comforting," Hunk mutters under his breath.

The commander splits them into teams - Pidge and Lance are to fight a pair of androids while Keith and Hunk fight another pair - and whichever team defeats their bots first would earn a small break while the losing team has to run laps. The galra are apparently not too keen on incentive.

Pidge and Lance are doing fairly well fighting their bots with the default weapon of a staff, but before they can finish off the last one Lance takes a hit and he falls to his knees with a scream, clutching his hand. Pidge rushes over and while Keith and Hunk stop and look as well, their android does not stop fighting them and there's little they can do but continue. Before Pidge can see if her teammate is okay the remaining bot is still in fighting mode. She takes her staff and blocks the next attack from hitting Lance. She can't exactly examine what has happened to his hand but she can smell blood.

Since when could she smell blood?

She takes a hit to the face and stumbles over, trying to get a better grip on her weapon and counterattack but it's no use. She isn't fast enough to dodge every blow and she isn't strong enough to do any worthwhile damage to the machine.

Bogh was right.

She feels the slightest relief when Keith and Hunk beat their second sentry, meaning that the one she is currently fighting stops hitting her.

"Alright, three laps around the ship for both of you," Bogh commands.

Pidge takes a moment to catch her breath, exhaustedly pulling herself to her feet. "But what about Lance? He's hurt."

"His legs aren't hurt. He can jog just fine."

Pidge can't even glare at him because her face is too busy being appalled. It isn't until Lance softly calls her name from the training room door (when did he get up?), still holding his hand, his expression defeated. He doesn't want to fight. She respects his wishes and jogs after him as they start the lap route through the ship's hallways.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"I-I don't know," he admits with a hiss. The way he clutches his left hand's fingertips is odd to her. "I think a few of my fingernails broke off."

Her brows crease and she has to mentally tell herself to keep jogging instead of stopping. "Your entire fingernail?! A  _ few _ of them?! We need to take off your suit and check-"

"Pidge, it's okay,” he insists with clenched teeth. “I'll have Tejal look at me after training."

_ "After _ training?! No, you need to have that looked at  _ now _ , y-you won't even be able to hold a weapon with your hand like that!"

"I'll manage," he says numbly and it feels like their conversation ends there.

She doesn't want to press him, especially since he has a dangerous look in his eyes. She can tell there are too many emotions raging inside him and it would be best to leave him be.

Training with commander Bogh is a strange strain for all of them. They all silently realize this strenuous training would help them in their daunting future tasks but it also begins to change them. They are backed into a corner where the only escape is to fight their way out by any means necessary, to truly live up to the galra standard of "victory or death." The only way out is through clawing and biting and tears and blood.

Pidge follows Lance to Tejal's medical wing after training, both to ensure he gets the care he needs but also out of morbid curiosity. It is an awful experience in the room with them as Tejal has to peel away the dried blood that stuck the fingertips of his suit to his raw wounds. Lance completely lost three of his fingernails and the remaining two on his thumb and pinkie are threatening to fall off as well. After a few scans, Tejal figures out that Lance is growing claws.

Despite all of their skin and hair changing color, this revelation feels like the final nail in the proverbial coffin of their humanity.

Tejal gives him some painkillers and goes ahead with removing the other two fingernails that are about to come off. Pidge listens to his pained screams, wondering how long it will be before she's sitting in his position with Tejal prying off parts of what makes her human. Tejal can tell his right hand is approaching the same fate and it's only a matter of time before his nails are fully replaced with claws. She checks his toenails as well and confirms the same is happening to his feet. Deep down Pidge was hoping the changes from the galra genes would only be superficial - skin, hair, maybe even their eye colors. But it appears to be changing them entirely, down to their physiology. 

As terrifying as their transformations are, Pidge is even more concerned about the DNA changing their behavior. Would any of them be the same once the changes complete their course?

From her observations of those around her, she concludes that most galra exhibit far more aggression and rage than humankind, especially the males. She fears how it will change the behavior of the kind men in her life and she sincerely hopes they can retain their character through the horrifying metamorphosis. Just the other day during training when Lance lost his fingernails he seemed uncharacteristically cold when she tried to get him the proper medical aid. 

Their training doesn't ease in the slightest and Lance is expected to continue fighting despite his raw fingertips. Pidge is appalled by this and wants to argue that he'll never properly heal but remembers that the quintessence will force him to revive. It is only a matter of enduring the pain at this point, something she has learned is ingrained in galra culture. She thought views on masculinity were bad back on Earth but it doesn't even compare to the borderline masochist ways of these aliens. 

Adam and Shiro are transferred to a different ship entirely to continue their more rigorous training and Pidge, Lance, Keith, and Hunk are left on their own. Pidge was comforted with the older teens by their side to help guide and inspire them, but now she feels like they’re utterly alone. The last semblance of a connection to Earth and even her family is gone.

Without Shiro they all feel lost and hopeless in this strange alien warship as they slowly become more than they ever bargained for. 

Growing claws is agony and she doesn’t know how Lance fared so well as she finds herself constantly crying through the raw pain of her fingernails breaking apart. Keith is also relatively silent through his pain, though he spends a lot of time alone in his room. She can tell Hunk tries not to cry but even a tough engineer’s hands can barely handle the change. They struggle through training as all of their hands ache and throb and the deep bruises pile on their skin as they are unable to fight to their fullest. 

One night Lance loudly rummages in the kitchen, the occasional “ow” escaping his lips. Pidge can only imagine it’s because he hit his fingertips or used his hand muscles too much to compensate and avoid pressure on his raw fingers. Pidge approaches and takes a seat on one of the counter stools.

“What are you doing?” she asks tiredly. They are always served their meals so there isn’t much need to use the kitchen unless they want a snack or when Hunk feels like experimenting and trying to replicate an Earth food.

“Experimenting.”

She rolls her eyes. “Do you even cook?”

“No, not experimenting with food. Aha,” he exclaims, pulling out a glass casserole looking pan and setting it near the sink. He fills it with water and brings it to the island counter where she leans forward on her elbows. 

“You have… a bowl of water.”

“I also have…” He turns around and grabs a container from the back counter and shows her a long clear canister filled with golden liquid. “Magic space juice.”

She gives him a deadpan look, heaving a sigh. “You mean drugs?”

Lance sighs as well, a hint of irritance in his eyes. “It’s been... a  _ very _ long week, Pidge, can we not be too serious here?”

“Okay, so what are you doing with your ‘magic space juice’?” she asks with air quotations.

“A manicure,” he answers so nonchalantly as he pours the quintessence into the bowl of water.

She arches a brow at him. “A manicure? At a time like this? You’re missing half of your nails.”

“Which makes it the perfect time to do so.” He puts his hands in the container of quintessence water and inhales sharply through his nose, his tense shoulders slowly relaxing as he exhales and closes his eyes. “Mmm… this is nice.”

She stares at his splayed fingers, almost entirely a dark purplish-blue color that feels so wrong to see on his skin. But now that she observes him better, she sees Lance has little of his human skin left. A chunk along his right cheekbone and a few patches along his left arm are all that’s left of his warm tanned skin, at least of what she can see from what he has exposed. In the bowl she sees that two of his claws are starting to grow, a dark metallic purple that reminds her of something that belongs on a reptile. Her stomach twists thinking about how this is their reality now, that this is what their bodies will permanently become. 

Lance cracks open one blue eye at her. “You want to join me? It feels lovely.”

She takes a deep breath and reaches her hands to submerge them into the container. The water is warm and soothing - the three fingers where she has already lost nails slowly start to throb less. She knows the rest are bound to come off soon as well.

She stares at their hands, almost close enough to look like their fingers are intertwined, and feels an odd warmth spread through her chest. She isn’t sure if it’s from the quintessence or something else but she feels calm for the first time in a long while. When their discolored skin bothered her only moments ago, now seeing their purple-tinted skin together, though damaged and recovering, feels reassuring. His dark blue-purple hues next to her lighter lavender-pink hues are complementary and almost pleasing to see. 

She isn’t in this alone. 

They are going to be okay, so long as they have each other.

“Does it hurt?” she asks after a long stretch of silence.

“What?”

Pidge shrugs. “Everything. But I mainly meant growing in the claws.”

Lance purses his lips together. “It hurts. It hurts something awful. Like my fingers are being stretched and the tips cut entirely raw. It feels weird and… it actually scares me.” He lets out a small laugh that isn’t meant to be humorous. His gaze lowers to their hands, his eyes beginning to shine with tears. “More than everything else, at least. How am I supposed to suddenly adapt to having scissors on my hands?”

She tries to think of an answer that will hopefully ease his worries, but anything she can think of only makes the situation sound more bleak. All she can think of to say is a simple, “We’ll figure it out. We have to...”

Emotion suddenly catches in her throat and she finds it hard to speak, her eyes burning. “Humans are adaptable a-and so are galra, so whatever we are by that point… we’ll… we’ll figure it out.” 

She looks up to see Lance smiling sadly at her. “You’re right,” he says. “I’m worrying too much. We’ll be fine.”   
  


* * *

Pidge is well aware that time lengths are different out here in space by galra standards, but she keeps track of the “days” that pass and where they are roughly compared to Earth’s calendar. Nearly two months have passed since their kidnapping and it is around Christmas time when their skin and hair have completely changed color and all of their claws have grown in. Additionally their ears are slightly pointed, Keith’s especially. She swears everyone’s irises have lightened as well, but it’s difficult to discern when it is hard to remember how things used to be. Pidge imagines it would be easier to recall if they had other humans to compare to, but now everything in her life is galra. They started a height chart on one of the walls a few weeks ago when she realized Lance was significantly taller, and by their weekly measurements it is now obvious that all the boys are growing at an inhumanly fast pace. Pidge is growing as well though it is far less noticeable, much to her annoyance.

Commander Bogh deems them ready for fighting in the arena by next movement and none of them feel prepared for the pain that is to come. Despite their speedy growth, all galra their age are twice their height and far better fighters, having trained from a much younger age. Though she can tell her senses and reflexes have sharpened the past two months, she is terrified at the pain all of them will face in the arena. 

This time Hunk is the first one to experience a new change when he has a hard time eating their makeshift Christmas feast.

“You alright, Hunk?” Lance asks as he shoves more meat into his mouth. “You’ve barely touched your plate. I know it’s not nearly the same as back on Earth-”

“It’s not that,” he says softly, defeatedly. He stares sadly at his food and exhales. “My uhh… my mouth hurts. It hurts to chew.”

“It hurts to-?” It looks like a lightbulb goes off in Lance’s head mid-sentence as his eyes widen and his ears twitch slightly. “Oh don’t tell me…”

“Oh no… I think you may be right,” Pidge adds as the realization dawns upon her.

Keith lets out an irritated sigh. “Okay someone explain what’s going on?”

“I think what happened to our nails is now happening to Hunk’s teeth,” Pidge explains. “We’re all going to start growing fangs.”

“Perfect,” Lance says thickly, angrily shoving more food into his mouth. “Merry Christmas to us. Just in time for us to prove ourselves in the arena.”

“I don’t think there will be much proving there,” Keith sighs.

Lance rolls his eyes. “I know, that was sarcasm.”

“If it hurts to eat how are we supposed to build up our strength for the arena?”

“I guess it’s time to ask Tejal for a stack of nutrient packs.” Lance looks at all the food on their table nostalgically. “Better savor our food while it lasts.”

The food is delicious, Pidge is at least grateful for that. There isn’t much more they can do in the spirit of Christmas aside from eating good food and spending time in each other’s company. Lance somehow found time to knit them all socks in their respective Paladin colors, the same colors as the light on the bracelets clasped around their wrists the day of their kidnapping, so there is a little bit of gift giving for the Earth holiday. 

Despite the pain, they sit around in the conversation pit and share stories of their families and holiday traditions. While it hurts to remember a home they can’t return to indefinitely and their lives when they were human, there is a warmth and bittersweet comfort at recalling happy memories together. All of them are crying at some point that night, even Keith as he talks fondly of a Christmas he remembers with his father when he was alive. They sleep together in the conversation pit all huddled about a mess of blankets and pillows and Pidge feels the distinct bond of family among the Garrison boys. 

She loves them all and knows she would do anything to ensure their happiness. They are no longer a random group of kids abducted by aliens - they are a family.

Tejal sees them all first thing the next morning and even though she seems to have expected they would all grow in a new set of teeth, she is surprised at how quickly it has happened. They all receive thorough scans and examinations of their teeth and Tejal sends them off with nutrition packs and colorful squishy rings that seem to be filled with some kind of gel mixed with quintessence.

“So what are these for?” Lance asks the doctor, examining a blue one.

Pidge has a feeling she already knows the answer but it’s still a strange confirmation to hear it come out of Tejal’s mouth. “They’re designed for children when they’re teething. They will help numb the pain if you chew on them.” 

“They’re… teething toys?” he asks with an unimpressed arch of a brow.

“Believe me,” Tejal stresses, “you will want them when your teeth start to come in.”

Hunk is already chewing one, realizing everyone is staring at him. “What? She’s right.”

Despite Lance being adamant that he’s not going to use a teething toy he eventually caves into it once his teeth start to hurt. They’re all terrified to find that it isn’t simply their teeth elongating, their human teeth eventually fall out and are replaced by sharper galran teeth growing in. Even though Hunk began losing teeth first, Keith loses all of his teeth and gains a new set before Hunk does. Pidge observes that Keith seems to be changing the fastest out of all of them. He doesn’t appear to be in as much pain either, but she also knows he has a tendency to keep to himself. 

At least Hunk obtains his new set of teeth in time for his birthday.

Pidge drags Lance with her to talk to Khas, the head chef aboard the ship, to discuss the possibility of making them a cake or at least something as close to it as possible. Part of her wants them to make it themselves, but Pidge isn’t a great cook to begin with and she isn’t confident they could make anything that tastes good with unfamiliar alien ingredients.

“Do you really think Khas will be able to make anything that resembles a cake from Earth?” Lance asks. “Do galra even  _ eat _ cake? Or sweets for that matter?”

Pidge frowns, realizing they haven’t exactly had anything “sweet” since being in space. They have had fruity drinks similar to juice but as far as food goes there was nothing similar to a dessert. “Galra probably don’t believe in eating sweets.” 

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” he mutters with a groan. “What I wouldn’t give to have some hard candy right now so I can hurry up and lose the last few teeth that need to go.” Lance constantly chews on the teething toy but when they’re out of their Paladin quarters he simply chews on his claws as if he’s nervous. Pidge finds it awfully annoying but she doesn’t have the heart to tell him to stop when he’s only trying to curb the pain.

“Want me to punch you in the jaw? It might speed up the process.”

“Mmm, maybe.” 

She opens the door into the kitchen and they make their way over to the tall reptilian galra. It looks as if he shifts his gaze to them but it’s hard to tell when he doesn’t have any irises. “What do you runts want?” he asks, continuing to saute food over the stove.

“We were wondering if you could make something for us,” Pidge starts. “We wanted to have something nice for Paladin Hunk’s birthday.”

Khas arches a brow at them. “Birthday? What’d’ya mean?”

“Why does it not surprise me that galra don’t celebrate birthdays,” Lance mutters with a sigh. “Khas, a birthday is the quintant you are born, and on Earth we give gifts and eat delicious food to celebrate turning a pheob older.”

_ “Every _ pheob?”

“Yep! And Hunk’s is coming up in a few days - I mean quintants, so we wanted to prepare something extra sweet and delicious for him.”

Khas pauses for a moment, folding his arms in thought. “I suppose it’s similar to an Agorin rite.” 

Lance and Pidge both look at each other with furrowed brows before returning their attention to the cook. “What’s an Agorin rite?” Pidge asks.

“Every five pheobs after graduating the Agotian trials you can do ‘em again to get more ceremonial tattoos. The strongest galra will have several of 'em along their arm, and usually people will celebrate surviving the trial with food and drinks. What do earthlings celebrate on their birthdays?”

Lance shrugs awkwardly. “Surviving another year, I guess?” 

“Pathetic.” Khas returns to his cooking, but continues speaking. “I can see what I can do, but I can’t guarantee it will taste like anything you runts are wantin’.”

“Really?” Pidge lights up and clasps her hands together. “You’re the best Khas!”

He only grunts in response but they spend some time in his kitchen tasting various ingredients to help him figure out what something sweet tastes like, and offer him pointers on making a creation as similar to an Earth cake as possible. Pidge reckons after their discussion that it might turn out to be more like a fruit tart than a cake,  but out here in space there are only so many options as far as replicating food from their homeplanet.

The arena matches start the next movement so their days are filled with training. The Paladins return to their quarters late into the evenings, bruised and exhausted, merely resting before the next day instead of doing anything productive with their free time. Pidge knows they'll fall behind in their studies if they don't flunk out of their training first.

Lately her evenings are consumed with unveiling the truth when she isn't too exhausted to search through files.

There is something that bothers Pidge.

Something she has heard from whispers of those in the higher ranks, from various galra she passes in the halls of the ship, something that seemingly everyone in the Galra Empire believes but is too cowardly to say: the Paladins are weak, useless, and undeserving of such a regarded position. She finds it strange how so many of them can distrust the wisdom of their Empress but she also knows it would be concerning to have a bunch of human children be the supposed saviors of a much stronger and capable alien race. If she were in their shoes, she figures she would have similar doubts.

But the question remains: how on Earth are they supposed to prove themselves to the galra?

Her usual hacking methods couldn’t confirm something for her - something she heard from multiple galra soldiers while observing arena fights as part of her training. There was a weapon being built, one designed to harm only galra. It makes no sense to her for the galra to create something that would harm their own species... unless it is somehow designed for  _ them. _

She has a general idea where it could be, but she's more surprised to find Keith lurking the same hallways when she sneaks out at night.

"What are you doing down here?" she whispers.

"What are YOU doing down here?" Keith retorts back.

She doesn't have any better response. "I asked you first!"

He scowls. "I've heard rumors about a monster on this ship. And I've also heard rumors about how we're useless."

_ So it was a monster, not a weapon. _ "And you wanted to make sure it wasn't designed for us."

He gives her a wary look. "You really shouldn't be here."

"Oh and it's fine for you to risk your life investigating this?" she pouts. "I thought you were the one who believed Honerva the most. Why would she create a monster to eat us?"

"I don't think Honerva has made the monster. I think someone has made it to dispose of us and make it look like an accident."

Her stomach churns not at the horror but the plausibility of such a scenario. She has heard whispers from other galra, especially the higher ups, how children of an inferior species are being treated with respect they don't deserve. She understands their frustration and disgust, but could it really pent up to the point of ruthless murder? She knows the galra are aggressive but she never considered anyone taking this issue so far.

"You suspect it's down here as well," she says more so than asks.

Keith nods. "I don't know if your sense of hearing has improved, but listen: there's a distinct growling sound down this passageway. I've noticed it every time we pass by here from the training deck."

Pidge holds still and listens carefully but she figures her hearing hasn't improved in the way Keith's apparently has - she can barely make out sentry footsteps and that's it. "I think you're changing at a faster rate than the rest of us."

"Which gives you even less reason to be down here as well," he argues. "I can stealth better with my enhanced hearing. You will only be a hindrance."

"I can't let you go by yourself now that I know what you're doing! Or would you rather I get Lance or Hunk to accompany you instead?"

He frowns, his elongated ears drooping. He groans for a long moment and then sighs. "Fine, you can come with me but you follow my every move, okay?"

She nods and tries to hide her excitement that he's letting her tag along. She was confident she could sneak in on her own but now she's realizing she's grateful to have Keith timing their movement. His hearing is phenomenally better than hers.

"There are only sentries down here," Pidge observes, her heart racing faster at the connotation.

"Which means we'll find out if it is designed to hunt down galra."

"The hard way," she mumbles, following him down another hallway.

Now she can hear it. The growling is low and desperate, starving for flesh. What was first morbid curiosity now turns into fearful regret. She wants to turn back but she knows that even if she does, Keith won't. She doesn't want to out themselves to a sentry to get him to stop but she's thinking it may be their only option to avoid the beast entirely.

"Keith," she hisses, tugging on his sleeve. "This is a bad idea."

"You want to know the truth, right?" He turns his head over his shoulder to look at her. "How are we supposed to let Honerva know her own men are trying to kill us if we don't have proof?"

_ What if she already knows, _ she wants to say but she bites her lower lip instead. "We'll come back more prepared. We're unarmed right now, there's no way we could handle the monster if it comes after us."

"You're not unarmed. You have  _ claws. _ Besides -" Keith pulls out a kitchen knife from somewhere and it glints faintly in the pale purple light. "I at least have this."

Keith is confident as ever and Pidge knows there will be no convincing him. She isn't about to send him to his death however, not if she can do something to prevent it. "We should take out a sentry first. We can use its blaster."

"Taking out one sentry will alert the rest of them down here-"

"Not if I relocate its address from the network first."

"...you can do that?"

She nods. "I'm not a child."

Keith rolls his eyes. "Alright well, this one coming up is as good as any. I'll take it out and you do your work."

Once the AI rounds the corner Keith makes quick work of tackling it to the ground and disarming it. Pidge rushes forward and opens one of the control panels to mess with its internal wiring while Keith keeps it from interfering. After a few tics it goes limp and the lit up parts of its body go dark.

"Alright, he's sleeping now," she says as she picks up the abandoned blaster. "I feel safer with this." The blaster is almost as big as her but she is surprised at how easy it is for her to hold. She knows little to nothing about shooting a gun since they primarily train with blades or staves. She hopes she can make shots that count if it comes down to it.

They continue stealthily down more hallways towards the source of the growling and Pidge has to wonder if Keith would know the way back. They will probably have to alert a sentry at some point otherwise they would be navigating the ship all night and will eventually be found out simply because of their prolonged absence. She tries to recount their steps but finds it difficult when her heart leaps within her chest every time she hears the monster stir.

And then the monster couldn't hold back within its cage anymore.

There is a vicious snarling and then the screaming of metal.

Then silence.

She can't tell if Keith's hand shakes as he holds the blade or if her vision is failing her from the fear coursing in her veins. It's quiet for too long. The growling has stopped. It's so quiet that Keith's whisper doesn't sound real.

"This was a bad idea."

It's the last thing she hears before his screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fulfills the BTHB prompt "animal attack"!
> 
> I'm taking [Bad Things Happen Bingo prompts](https://anchoredtether.tumblr.com/tagged/shatter-and-tessellate) for this project! Feel free to [send me an ask](https://anchoredtether.tumblr.com/ask) requesting what prompt you'd like to see next! I'll try to do them in the order I receive them but some might come later for plot purposes.
> 
> As always, comments are super appreciated! <3


	9. Mother Knows Best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS >>> there are a few disturbing images in this chapter involving a surgery scene and a violent attack - very little detail is given and it's in line with the tone and level of horror of previous chapters.

_ “This is for your own good.” _

It’s the only phrase Pidge can recall as she fades in and out of consciousness, pain burning through her body. She’s disoriented and weak, her head spinning with a dozen questions. She doesn’t have the energy to fight and instead succumbs to whatever’s pulling her under.

The next time she wakes she’s in her room, laying on her bed in the dark.

Her head is throbbing and she winces when she sits up, lifting her hand to find bandages wrapped around like a headband. Her side hurts, her left arm hurts, so many places hurt and she realizes she has several spots covered in bandages. She lets out a weak moan, wanting to lay back down but also desiring to figure out what happened.

Before she can sit up after moving her legs to the edge of the bed, her door opens and a figure stands in the light, casting a long shadow across the floor. Bright yellow eyes glow ominously in the darkness and she can't help the startled gasp that comes out of her throat, instinctively shrinking away from the image before her. The figure in the door visibly flinches and once her eyes adjust her stomach drops.

"Lance!?"

He lets out a soft sigh. "Awful, isn't it?"

She doesn't know how to respond and her heart aches for the sorrow in his voice. "I'm... I'm sorry."

"You didn't know, it's fine." He steps in closer, hesitantly at first as if he doesn't want to startle her, but then sees that she doesn't react negatively and moves to sit down beside her. "I think it's a reasonable reaction at this point."

"Still, I didn't..." She looks up at him, able to see more clearly how different his eyes are. The sclera is such a bright yellow, unnaturally bright, and his once deep blue irises that reminded her of the ocean are now a lighter blue, more like a clear sunny sky. There is no way his irises could be that light in such darkness. Though his galran eyes startled her at first, she now looks at them with interest. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings..."

"Pidge, it's fine." He almost scoffs, setting a hand gently on her shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

She wants to ask him if her eyes have changed but she reckons they would feel different... but she's in so much pain it's hard to tell - would she even be able to tell if her sclera changed colors? She couldn't tell when her skin or hair changed aside from the obvious visual cues, but there was no pain or physical indication she had changed otherwise. She can feel her ears twitch as her head continues to throb. "I'm... I don't know. Everything hurts. What happened? How... how  _ long _ have I been out?" She knows there's no way it could only have been a few days if Lance's eyes completely changed... but then again who knows? She has no idea how quickly the galra transformation can take hold.

"Less than a movement... six quintants I think?"

"Six quintants..." She moans, lifting a hand to her forehead again.

"Hey, do you want some water or something?"

"I don't know... I don't know..." She grits her teeth in frustration. Why did she keep repeating herself? "It hurts... everything hurts. Everywhere, it hurts everywhere."

Lance leans in and very gently wraps his arms around her, pulling her in against his chest. When did she start crying? Her tears soak into his shirt and she tries to return the hug but it hurts her arms so she awkwardly drops them down by his sides.

"You and Keith..." he starts, his tone hesitant, "you were both attacked by something. I don't know any details beyond that, Keith isn't wanting to talk about it. But Honerva saved you two and Tejal did everything she could to heal you."

She winces as she tries to recall the memories but her head is pounding and all she can do is release more tears. "It... it was- it was-!"

"Pidge, shh, you don't have to tell me anything. Focus on resting, okay?" He pulls back to look at her and it still startles her to see his eyes illuminated in the darkness, but his gaze is full of warm sympathy and it keeps the chilling realization of their transformations at bay. "You have a lot of healing to do."

"Don't remind me," she groans, but lays back down, her head aching as soon as she tries to get comfortable on the pillow.

"I'll be right back," Lance announces before leaving her room.

She slowly pulls the blanket up to her chin, finding her green knitted owl and pulling it in close. She can't stop crying as the pain stings and her heart suddenly yearns for her mother. She deeply appreciates Lance's comfort during this time but it simply cannot compare. Most days she can get by without thinking about her mother and the last moments she saw her, but once in a while it comes crashing down and the reality sets in. She will never see her again.

She doesn't even notice Lance re-entering her room until he lays down on the bed facing her, his amber eyes shining with tears. "Here," he says quietly, holding out what appears to be a pill. "It's a painkiller."

"More magic space juice?"

"More magic space juice."

She takes it and pops it into her mouth, no longer caring at this point about the repercussions of taking more quintessence so long as it means her body will stop stinging everywhere. Lance offers her a pouch of water and she gratefully takes it even though she already dry swallowed. She's feeling dehydrated from all the crying and the liquid feels divine against her throat.

"Why are you crying?" she asks, tears still flowing from her own eyes.

"I... I don't know." He looks away, his eyelids lowered. "You - you could have died. I was so scared Tejal wouldn't be able to save you... o-or Keith."

She should have realized this was serious - she was out for several days and the galra are lightyears ahead in medical technology compared to Earth. She's seen injuries that should have taken weeks to heal disappear within days. Bruises never stay long against their skin. Losing their fingernails and teeth and growing claws and fangs wasn't nearly as painful and long as it should have been. The fact they've changed so much within only a few phoebes speaks volumes.

This was no inconvenient injury.

She should have died.

Lance keeps her company for the remainder of the night, sleeping beside her. It helps her feel less alone when she was mourning her mother and yearning for home only moments ago. As the quintants pass she learns that her head was cracked open in the attack from the monster, an event she still can't fully recall. Hunk theorizes it is retrograde amnesia due to the trauma. He says getting torn apart by a creature might be too much for any sane mind to handle so those memories are hidden to protect her from harm. She knows this is a sound explanation - the same for all the other lapses in their memories - but she can't help but wonder if certain memories are being purposely erased in this world where they're being molded to fit what an alien race expects them to be.

_ No, we chose this. We wouldn't live otherwise, _ she reassures herself. They didn't exactly have options but they chose to live. They knew the risks but they were willing to take them if it meant one day returning to their families.

Yet the doubt continues to eat at her mind.

* * *

  
  
Lance screams when he slams into the ground, his muscles protesting when he tries to get back up on his feet. He knew Keith was a better fighter before they started becoming galra but he is on an entirely different level now. Even after such intense injuries he’s back in the training room and fighting in the arena in less than a movement. Lance has lost count how many times Keith has won in their arena matches but he knows his own victory count is an intimidatingly scary zero. He can't keep up and if he can't win his battles how is he going to ever become a Paladin? If Tejal couldn't force him to become stronger, what would they do with him then?

"Get up," Keith hisses but it's not a jaunt. He's almost pleading with him, hurrying him to get back on his feet.

He looks up at the older boy with defeated eyes. "I can't."

"Another win for Paladin Keith," Commander Bogh announces. The massive galra comes over and kicks Lance in the side, causing him to roll onto his back with a pained cough. "I'm starting to think you're not even trying. Perhaps it's too difficult to fight against your friend."

Clutching his side, he looks over at Keith. His elongated ears lower, his yellow eyes widening. He looks like he's about to say something but Bogh cuts him off.

"Let's see if you're just as weak against a true opponent."

Lance is given a container to down before his next fight. He knows it's pure quintessence which tastes pretty awful in its raw form but it's the only thing that will give him any kind of fighting chance when it hurts just to stand. He drinks the acrid substance as quickly as he can and wipes the residue from his lips with the back of his hand. His opponent is a commander he barely recognizes but just as intimidating in height and build as Bogh.

He does his best to dodge and be quick with his attacks but it is of little use. The fight doesn't last long and Lance is lying back on the ground, coughing and gasping for breath. Hunk struggles with fighting as well but at least he draws out the fight considerably. Hunk has a lot of strength that Lance lacks and is much more proficient at blocking attacks. Pidge too gets beat fairly often but she's a much better strategist and takes incredible advantage of her smaller size and greater speed. Keith is pretty well matched with Lance in terms of height and build but somehow Keith is faster, stronger, more agile, more precise.

Keith offers a hand to help him up onto his feet and Lance doesn't have the energy to bitterly reject it.

No words from Bogh. Only a disappointed sigh before he leaves the arena.

Lance feels like he's falling behind in a race to swim across a pool, slowly being dragged down beneath the surface to drown. Everyone is pushing ahead of him and he doesn't know how to catch up, not when he can't breathe.

His wandering thoughts lead him to speak to Honerva in private one night.

"What did you want to see me for, Lance?" she asks, her eyes curious. She too has obtained the same changes as all of the Paladins and now has purple skin and yellow sclera. Her irises are a similar golden color to Pidge's and he wonders if her eyes will look like the altean's once her sclera change.

He takes a deep breath. "I'm certain you've heard how poorly I fare in the arena," he starts, never meeting her gaze. "And I... I'm scared of what will happen when I can't keep up. Everyone else is so much smarter and a better fighter than me. I don't - I need to be stronger. I don't want to be useless!"

"No one is useless, Lance." Her words cause him to look up to see her intelligent gaze is serious. "You play an important role in the events that are to come, a role that cannot be omitted. It is admirable that you seek out opportunities to obtain power."

"P-power?" he nearly chokes on the word. His face scrunches up in uncertainty. "I don't want to be powerful, I just want to..."

"You want to be  _ capable." _

He bites his lower lip, careful not to apply too much pressure. He learned the hard way that he can't exactly do that anymore now that he has fangs. "Well... yeah. I guess that is what I want. I'm tired of being weak. My body is certainly tired of it too."

Honerva takes a step closer, reaching out a hand to gently lift his chin to look up at her. "You, my child, have  _ perseverance _ ... more so than the other Paladins." She pauses to let that sink in before offering him an ultimatum. "Are you willing to test its merit?"

His heart quickens its pace, his mind reeling at what her words could possibly entail. He certainly is tired of enduring so much pain only to stay so far behind everyone else - if he does have perseverance as she claims, he would rather put it to use towards something that would ultimately make him stronger instead of merely surviving. He needs to take risks in order to work his way up the proverbial food chain. He is tired of being at the bottom, of being the worthless prey that is never acknowledged. 

He wants to be capable and Honerva is offering him the chance to become something more.

“Yes,” he says finally, his eyes determined. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”

She offers him a smile. “Good… in time, you will become stronger than the rest of them.” 

He knows it’s what he wants to hear but for some reason he still feels a chill travel down his spine. She leads him down one of the hallways of her study, the shelves lined with all kinds of books and artifacts that have an appearance of organized chaos. She stops and pulls out a thick book with dark blue bindings and hands it to him. His Galran isn’t that great but he can tell the title says that it’s a reference for something. Instead of immediately asking her what it says, he opens it up to see various diagrams of plants strewn about carefully printed notes.

He looks up at her. “Does this mean I should start gardening?”

Honerva gives him a good natured smile, as if she’s holding back a laugh. “No my dear, not gardening. This is a compendium on poisons.” 

He raises his brows, his eyes widening. “Oh! Right. Poison comes from plants.” He looks through a few more pages of alien flowers as he tries to figure out how poisons would help him become a stronger fighter. It is certainly a useful tool to use against enemies but anyone could use poison, it wouldn’t make him different by any means. “How will this help me?” he asks without looking up from the pages. 

“I’ve tried this program on many soldiers in the past - they all eventually give up. It becomes too much for them to handle. But you have willpower, a great resolve to never give in, and I anticipate that will guide you to conquer this program.” 

He looks up at her now with disbelief.  _ Galrans _ have failed and Honerva believes  _ he _ can surpass them? It seems impossible but now he’s incredibly intrigued. “What is the program?”

“It’s the Zyadovek, a program designed to make soldiers immune to poison and in turn, more deadly fighters in the most literal sense of the term. If you choose to continue with it, you will take on trace amounts of different poisons until they no longer affect you. Your capacity to heal will increase tenfold and you will gain more weapons to use to your advantage in combat. It is a strenuous program that takes time to see results but will ultimately make you more capable than the others.” 

“I… I see.” He closes the book and stares at the title a moment longer before tucking the book under his arm and looking up at her. “And you believe  _ I  _ can complete it?”

“I have no doubt you possess the resolve to see it through.” 

He feels an odd warmth at her words. He has never been anyone special but she has such faith in his unique abilities to become more formidable than his peers. His grades were nothing special at the Garrison, his talents nothing distinct. Certainly he was a good shot at the shooting range but there were plenty of other cadets that possessed good aim. Having five siblings and being a  _ twin _ at that rarely made him the focus of anyone’s attention.  He is used to being overlooked and sidelined so much that Honerva's praise almost feels out of place. It doesn't feel like it should apply to him.

But for once in his life he feels  _ important. _

Honerva sends him off with the book to study and a vial to start if he so chooses. The bracelet around his wrist is modified to be able to send messages directly to Tejal and he’s to notify her if he decides to intake the poison. The vial is filled with an inconspicuous clear liquid but it weighs heavily upon his mind. That night he stays up late finding the poison written on the vial’s label in his book and using his datapad to look up the words he doesn’t understand. As he learns more about the effects of the poison he wonders briefly if this could potentially kill him. Honerva never mentioned past galra dying from the Zyadovek but merely giving up. If Tejal could bring back Pidge and Keith from the brink of death and transform all of their human bodies into galra, a little poison should be of little consequence. 

He shuts the book and decides to wait a little longer. He lays down and tries to sleep, though his mind is running with a thousand thoughts. 

The next morning he wakes to the sound of Pidge crying. 

He rushes to her bedroom to find her collapsed on the floor sobbing, clutching her forehead with her hands. Hunk follows right behind him and he can hear Keith approaching as well. 

“Pidge what’s wrong?” Lance moves forward and kneels next to her. She tries to say something in the mess of her pain and tears but he can’t quite make it out. “Okay, okay, just hold on.” He moves to pick her up as gently as he can but she still cries out from the movement.

“I’m going to take her to Tejal, something’s not right,” he says and Hunk and Keith both nod.

“We’re coming too,” Hunk says. 

Tejal takes her in and the three boys are left waiting outside in the lobby. Hunk is fidgeting with his hands while Lance can’t stop pacing in the small space. Keith is slouched in one of the chairs looking like the dead. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Lance asks.

“I’m  _ fine,” _ he stresses for the third time. “Head just hurts.”

“Yeah and Pidge is screaming about the same thing. You two clearly have something in common going on.” 

Keith groans. “I’ll have Tejal see me, will that make you stop freaking out?”

“I am not freaking out!”

“You’re  _ pacing.” _

“I do that when I’m thinking.”

“Well stop thinking so loud.”

“Man you’re irritable when you’re in pain.”

“Yeah well you’re-!”

“Guys, can we stop?” Hunk cuts in, his voice terse. “Arguing isn’t going to help anyone.”

Keith and Lance both sigh and they wait in silence, though Lance continues pacing, albeit more slowly. He knows Keith is hurting - maybe not as much as Pidge, but still a great amount - and he's trying to hide it. He wears bandages around his head as well and Lance has to wonder what kind of pain he's enduring, what kind of injuries they both sustained from the monster. He wishes either of them could recall what happened that night but he couldn't dwell on a mystery with no leads.

Tejal enters the lobby with a grim expression, her fluffy ears lowered. All of the boys direct their attention to her, expectantly waiting for her diagnosis.

"She's sleeping for now. It seems she's in the process of growing horns."

Lance's brain goes so blank at that news that Hunk beats him to the outburst.

_ "WHAT?!"  _ Hunk holds his hands up in disbelief. "H-h-how can she possibly b-be growing...  _ horns _ , just like that?"

"I had to use great amounts of quintessence to save her and Paladin Keith," Tejal explains. "I believe the quintessence may be accelerating the galra DNA and growing new strands of physiological traits." She trains her eyes on Keith. "Which means I want to check out your head next."

"Is - a-are Pidge and Keith going to be okay?" Lance asks. "If they grow horns it's not going to... I don't know, cause problems, is it?"

"Horns are a normal trait for a number of galran races. It would be as unproblematic as growing a tail.”

“A  _ tail?” _

“Somehow that doesn’t sound unproblematic…” Hunk bemoans. 

“For humans, yeah,” Keith mutters. “But we’re no longer human.” He stands up, nearly losing his balance at first, then walks back to one of Tejal’s medical rooms. 

Tejal looks at both of the boys, her eyes sympathetic. “I think it would be wise to have Pidge and Keith stay here for a few days. Let me know if you two need anything.” She lingers her gaze upon Lance before turning and leaving to attend to Keith. 

“We’re no longer human…” Hunk repeats sadly, his eyes glued to the floor. 

Lance looks down at his upturned palm. Though he understood this on the morning he woke up and discovered his eyes were now yellow, it is troubling to hear the truth said out loud. But looking at his dark purple-blue skin and pointed claws there’s absolutely no indication that they were once human. Only Hunk and Pidge have any semblance of their humanity left with their sclera still white. 

“And we’re probably only going to become less human…” Hunk continues. “How did things end up like this?”

“We are destined to save the universe and changing was the only way to survive.” He still has his doubts about Honerva’s prophecy but it also seems too coincidental and random to not be true. There is no point in abducting a bunch of human children to fight a war when there are plenty of far more capable galran warriors to fulfill such a role. Aliens have never visited Earth before so she knew where to find them, and not even all of them were at the Garrison - Pidge lived at the Holt house which was off base. They were  _ specifically _ chosen, though there could be the argument made that either Lance or Hunk and Shiro or Adam aren’t destined and were only kidnapped because they were roommates with someone who is meant to be a Paladin. Lance wonders this at times since he’s struggling so much more than his teammates to live up to his role. He wonders if Hunk is meant to be a Paladin and the only reason Lance is here is because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. 

“Ugh none of this makes any sense!” Hunk voices his thoughts. “The whole prophecy thing doesn’t add up. I could believe it if it was comprised of a group of diverse people, each a different alien species to contribute their unique abilities, but why would six humans - teenagers at that - be the ones to change the fate of the universe? And it requires an altean who rules a galran empire to even know about us let alone find us and prepare us for whatever it is we’re supposed to do? It’s so random it doesn’t make sense, or maybe  _ because _ it’s so incredibly random that can only mean it  _ has _ to be true. This isn’t the stuff a renowned sci-fi writer could come up with.”

“Yeah…” Lance sighs. “It’s crazy and I know my family would think I’ve gone insane if I tried to explain any of this to them.” He starts to pace back and forth quicker. “Quiznak, how - how on Earth are our families going to take all of this? We’re… we’re no longer human.” 

“They won’t even recognize us…” 

An already mournful conversation suddenly turns completely disconsolate. Not only will he no longer resemble any of his family but Rachel… she is the spitting image of him… 

Of what he used to be. 

A wave of nausea washes over him and he feels his hands shaking. Whenever they are able to return home, would it even feel like home anymore? They are no longer human. They don’t belong in a human society. They’ve changed too much that their individual pieces can never fit back into the proverbial puzzle of their homeplanet.

Lance stops pacing. 

“What are we going to do...?” he says so quietly, not expecting any kind of answer. He’s so overwhelmed he can’t stop the tears from spilling down his cheeks. 

Hunk can’t provide him an answer.

* * *

  
  
Lance stays up late again, looking through his book on poisons with his datapad handy to help translate when needed. Part of him wants to read up every poison and side effect in the book before committing so he knows exactly what he’s getting into, but another part of him doesn’t want to know anything and instead plunge into it blindly. His anxiety wars with himself as he continues to fiddle with the small vial in his hand. 

Pidge and Keith are changing, becoming even more galra. 

Keith was already half galra before they got into this whole mess and he’s leagues ahead of everyone. The fact he is more galra has to be the cause for his strength and speed, for his success in the arena. 

Lance can’t afford to fall behind.

He grips the vial tightly, his breath rapidly increasing. He can stop at any time. It’s not going to kill him. It’s only going to make him stronger. It’s only going to help him survive the trials to come.

He needs to change. 

He can’t protect anyone in his current state.

Carefully removing the stopper (and finding it quite easy to do with the precision of his claws) he holds the vial and takes a deep breath before downing its contents. He releases a long exhale as he feels the cold substance slither down. A few minutes pass as he lies in bed, wondering how quickly any side effects will take hold. 

When his bracelet chirps at him he lets out a startled yelp. The strip of blue light flashes a few times and the screen face reads his heart rate and a few other numbers he doesn’t understand. His datapad lights up and he sees Tejal has sent him a message. He opens up the notification and reads:

_ Come to the medical wing. _

He sneaks out of the Paladin quarters without alerting Hunk and finds Tejal waiting for him.

“So you’ve decided to take upon the Zyadovek tests.” Her expression is hard, her ears in a neutral position. 

Lance only nods in response. 

“And you are certain you want to go through with this? It will bring you a lot of pain.”

“You can’t reap rewards without equal risk. I know what I’ve signed up for.”

She studies him for a minute, eventually offering him a small nod. “You will obtain your samples through me. I will constantly be monitoring your body, which means I need to implant a scanner.”

He clears his throat in shock. “I-implant?”

“It’s a small device inserted near your heart. Since most poisons attack the heart it is imperative that I keep it closely monitored. If not, you could die or have permanent negative side effects.”

“Makes sense,” he says though his heart beats otherwise. “How am I supposed to complete these tests without suffering the full side effects? Most of them involve paralysis. I can’t train if I suddenly can’t move.” 

“The doses I will administer to you are small and mixed with quintessence. The doses will steadily increase until you gain a tolerance and your body learns to overcome the poison entirely. This will also train your body to overcome other obstacles and learn to adapt. While being immune to poisons is nice, it’s not exactly practical. It’s more about acclimating your body to refuse to succumb to anything harmful.” 

“In a sense, becoming indestructible.” 

“That is the core concept, yes.” She turns to move down the hall, gesturing for him to follow. “Let’s get you set up.”

He swallows heavily, taking the daunting steps into one of her rooms. He sits at the edge of the examination table which is so similar to the ones back on Earth it’s uncanny. Tejal prepares her equipment on the counter, instructing him without looking.

“Take off your shirt. You will want to lay down for this.”

He feels his ears perk slightly in surprise. “Wait, what do you mean? Aren’t you putting me under?”

“No, it’s a quick operation. Anesthesia is a bad combination for the poison already in your system. You’ll be fine.” 

His stomach churns. Disregarding whatever happened when Tejal gave him galran DNA, he’s never had surgery before, much less an operation while still being conscious for it. He is too nervous to ask if she will at least numb him up but he’s terrified she’s about to hack into his flesh without any kind of painkillers. Open heart surgery while conscious is a concept that sounds right in line with the “galra way.” 

Lance pulls off his shirt and lays down, the exam table cool against his exposed back. Tejal is by his side wearing a mask and gloves, focusing on her instruments on the table. As she prepares something she places a hand on his chest and looks him in the eyes. 

“Deep breaths, Lance. Inhale slowly for me and hold it,” she instructs, waiting until he does so, “exhale slowly. Again.” 

He feels a prick in his arm and lets out a sound that is a mix between a squeak and a hiss. She guides him through the deep breathing until his breaths are more relaxed. Whatever she injected into him must calm him down because now he feels somewhat sluggish. The tenseness in his muscles is gone, the anxiety bubbling in his veins all but dissipated. 

When he looks down and sees the blue flap of his skin pulled up on his left pectoral he lets out a scream but it’s so weak it can barely be called that. 

“Don’t look if it will upset you,” Tejal says so simply as if she isn’t digging sharp objects into his flesh. “I’m almost done.” 

He feels weird. Everything is so surreal - he should be panicking, his breath should be rapid. But instead he lies there, staring up at the ceiling feeling heavy as lead. He feels slight tugs where she’s working but he does everything in his willpower to not think about it. He is on the verge of throwing up but at the same time his stomach feels fine. 

Then Tejal has her hand cupping the side of his face, her mask removed. “You’re fine. All done.” 

He lets out a questioning moan and looks down to find small, neat stitches in the shape of an L framing the edge of his pectoral. He has a plethora of questions but he’s too exhausted and stunned to ask them. He wants nothing more than to sleep right here on this examination table.

Tejal hands him a pouch of water and he grabs it a little too forcefully, eager to satisfy his suddenly realized thirst. She turns away and grabs him another one in time to take as soon as he finishes the first one. 

“I feel awful. Is that normal? Or is that the poison kicking in?” he asks quickly in between sips.

“I gave you a numbing agent,” she explains. “It should wear off within half a varga, less if you keep drinking like that.”

Even sitting up feels strange - he’s not exactly nauseous but it feels like his sense of balance is completely off. He doesn’t want to stand up quite yet. 

“I want you to stay awake until the agent wears off so you can fill out an assessment in regards to the poison,” Tejal continues, offering him a nutrient bar. “Hungry?”

“No, thank you, I think I was just thirsty. How often will I ingest more poison though? Is this going to be a daily thing?”

“It depends on the toxin. Some of them will be better to take in small doses every quintant for a movement or so, others will need to be spaced out more so your body can adjust properly.” She pulls up a stool to sit down beside him. “The one you are currently taking will be the former, so you will need to visit me sometime tomorrow to get another vial so you can take it around the same time again. Eventually I will give you a movement’s worth of vials to take on your own, but I want to closely monitor you for the first few poisons to gauge how you handle them.” Her eyes lower, her voice no longer its calm professional tone. “Don’t be afraid to quit if it gets too hard. There is no shame in choosing your battles.”

Her words surprise him, the shock easing the effects of the numbing drug. It seems so out of line for a galra to say it’s okay to choose your battles. He expects the galra way to be “leave no battles unfinished” or something similar. “Do you think I have what it takes?” he asks, curious to see how Tejal’s answer differs from Honerva’s. 

She's quiet for a moment but it looks as if she's choosing her words carefully over hesitating. "Personally I don't think anyone has what it takes to complete this program,” she admits. “It depends entirely on how well your body adapts with each new poison. But there is something to be said about willpower - it can convince the body to survive when it normally shouldn't. I've seen it many times as I've aided soldiers in war. My skills and the use of quintessence can only do so much. It is ultimately up to the patient if they want to survive. That said... I know you care deeply, Lance. You want nothing more than to see your family again and to make sure your fellow Paladins are okay. You have a reason to keep fighting and I know that is what will pull you through when it seems difficult. When the pain is impossible to endure, think of them. Your love for your fellow Paladins and family is what will give you strength."

His eyes soften and he tries not to let his tears show. "I will. I know I will. I miss them so badly... I sometimes wonder if I'll ever get to see them again." It's no use now, his tears begin to flow freely from the corners of his eyes. "And if they'll... if they'll even accept me as I am now..."

"If they love you they will. And from the way you speak of your family, I know they will. Some bonds are too strong to be broken by any trivial thing such as change."

He swallows, his throat tight. He tries to divert the subject to keep himself from crying so hard. "W-what about you? Do you have a family?"

Her eyes harden, her pointed ears lowering ever so slightly. "I did once. A long time ago." Her voice is so soft and melancholic it breaks his heart to witness.

"I'm sorry…” He doesn't want to press her about the details because for all he knows she might have lost all of them to tragic ends. It is difficult to discern how old galra are but he can't imagine Tejal is particularly old. To lose a family at a young age couldn't have been anything but incredibly hard. "You seem to know a lot about what it's like to love people... that's why I asked."

"I  _ am  _ a doctor," she says with an amused laugh. "I love caring for people whether they are of blood relation or not, it does not matter to me. There is a certain peace and comfort with helping those in need, with giving love to those who sorely need it. It is healing, it is strength. The galra like to spite the ways of love but I think deep down it's what connects us all together. Without it we are lost, we are nothing. We might as well be scattered and disbanded like the days of old. You and your fellow Paladins understand this concept. From what I gather you all were strangers to some extent? But now you seem like family."

"Hunk and I have known each other for years," Lance explains. “Keith was one of my classmates at the Garrison but I don't exactly  _ know  _ him. Shiro and Pidge apparently know each other as well, and I also knew of Shiro but never really interacted with him before. So I guess you could say we were all something of strangers before being brought here." He smiles thinking about the close times he shared with all the other Paladins. "But we really are close now. I would do anything to keep any of them safe."

"I have no doubt about that," Tejal says with a smile. "It's exactly what you all need to survive what is to come. I know the trials ahead of you will not be easy, but all of you can get through them if you support each other."

He gives her a reassuring smile. “I’m certain we will.”

The half varga has passed and Lance fills out a survey about how he's feeling before he leaves her medical wing. Most of his answers are positive, confirming that everything is normal. He goes to bed feeling hopeful for once, his talk with Tejal igniting something inside of him that makes him feel less like he's powerless against the world.

They are going to be okay. They have each other.

* * *

  
  
Pidge awakes feeling so disoriented she wants to throw up. She tries to get off the bed and ends up collapsing to the ground. She lets out a small cry, hating the sound of her patheticness, and tries to pick herself up but finds that she can't. Her arms keep shaking. Why is everything hurting?

Tejal is quickly there, kneeling beside her and helping her up. "Paladin Pidge, you need to stay in bed and rest."

"Nooooo," she whines, hating how she sounds like a child throwing a tantrum but she has no strength to do anything else but have the doctor pick her up and lay her back down.

"Where is it hurting?"

"Everywhere," she cries. "Everywhere but especially my head."

She nods as if she expects that. "Okay, I'm going to give you some more pain killers. And I want you to go back to sleep. I know you want to get up and do stuff but you really need to rest. It is the only thing that will help you to heal at this point."

She wants to argue but her eyelids are heavy and she succumbs to the darkness again.

The next time she wakes her head feels somewhat clearer, though the pain is still a constant soft throb in her head. Tejal arrives to check her vitals.

"How are you feeling?"

"Awful, but... better," she admits. "I can better tell where I am and what's going on. So that's an improvement, right?"

"A big one, yes." She hands her a water pouch which she gratefully takes and begins slurping while she continues. "Empress Honerva wants to see you as soon as you're capable of walking on your own. After you finish that we should see how you do."

Pidge nods, continuing to drink the packet. While her head still hurts terribly she believes she can walk around fine. She's feeling leagues better than she was before and she's curious to learn more from Honerva about the monster and the memories she can't recall. Honerva was supposedly the one to save her and Keith from being completely mauled.

It turns out she is able to stand and Tejal accompanies her to Honerva's study to ensure she doesn't pass out again before excusing herself to give the two of them privacy. 

“What happened?” Pidge asks the altean who is looking just as galra as her and the rest of the Paladins. “What attacked Keith and I?”

“Would you like to see it for yourself?” Honerva asks and the question sends a chill down her spine.

“W-what do you mean?”

"Tejal informs me you have a sensitivity to quintessence. You absorb it better than any of the boys."

"I do?" she asks astoundedly, uncertain how to respond to such a revelation.

"It is because your mind can understand its secrets."

Her curiosity is extremely peaked now, the information drawing her in like a moth to a flame. Honerva spoke of quintessence as if it were a living entity, not a chemical substance. She always felt something was off about quintessence and now she's about to understand the truth of the biggest unknown that space has presented her since she was taken from her home. She takes a step closer. "What exactly is quintessence?"

"It is the threads of the universe, the very fabric that makes reality," she says. "Everything is made of quintessence... it flows in every living and non-living thing. It records the history of time. It is wisdom itself."

"And you can use quintessence to see the history it has recorded?"

"You can use quintessence to see everything, if you know how."

"That's how you saw the prophecy," she states more than asks. "You saw from the quintessence what was meant to happen... but how can you see things that have yet to happen?" If quintessence could work like a digital recording there is no way to record something that hasn't yet occurred.

Honerva smiles. "Time is a complex mechanism. Quintessence isn't bound to the constructs of present time."

“Theory of relativity. Each observer has their own measure of time and time itself is not absolute. I know how time isn’t particularly linear, but the uncertainty principle says it is not possible to predict both the position and velocity of a particle. How are you able to pinpoint something so improbable? You can certainly predict a combination but there is no way to know with certainty that you have both halves of the equation right.”

“Quintessence allows us to properly measure the wave function and predict how a certain string of time should be in the future.”

“As in Schrodinger’s equation - the nonrelativistic version is an approximation but only to a certain extent. Even if you use it so the total energy isn’t dependent on time, the wave function still has time dependency. Spacetime can stretch and bend, so even if you figure out an eigenvector gravity can still change its relative position. You’re dealing with so many ambiguous variables that there is no way to have an absolute. There are too many relative factors with spacetime and seeing the future.”

“That is the nature of the future - it is not absolute. What I saw was only an approximation, a predicted combination based on how the variables are currently in play. If the future were absolute I would not have found you and the Paladins and the universe would remain on the linear track towards destruction. Decisions affect the curve of space and consequently, time as well. The threads of the universe bend and stretch, providing infinities in supergravity. These quantums of gravity are constantly interacting with the forces of time, altering them slightly to bring an infinite amount of results. I do not claim to see the future as absolute, only that I have seen the probabilities in a theoretical framework.”

“If you saw the future’s ruin, how did you discover that the other Paladins and I are the ones meant to save it? It seems unreliable to see multiple futures and surmise that they are all related, and even more impractical to come to the conclusion that we’re the factor that will change the course of such events.”

“You and the other Paladins came to space by other means in a number of estimations of the future,” she explains and it seems believable to Pidge since they were all at the Garrison, or planning to one day attend, that they would all end up in space one day. “In as many of the futures I could comprehend, you Paladins continued to perish. It is my hope that finding you deca-phoebs in advance and training you more than the other time constructs could allow, that you will all be able to succeed in saving the universe. And though I could not foresee the variable that you all became galra, it might just be the advantage that will allow you to win the upcoming war.”

“But why us?” If she and her friends continued to play a role in this future event and failed every time, why would she continue to choose them over someone else who could succeed? “Why keep choosing us when we keep failing?”

Honerva is silent for a moment, her gaze softening. “Because it feels right. I tried equations with my strongest soldiers and not even they could stop the coming storm. But the universe keeps choosing you Paladins to play deciding roles in future events, and I believe there is a reason for that. It is not possible to predict the velocity and wave function of a particular string - it can have different spins and different wave functions with various probabilities, but it doesn’t have a unique function. And yet, the future keeps showing me the unique function of you and the Paladins in various strains of time. You are important in deciding the fate of the universe.” 

Pidge soaks it all in for a moment, her doubts gradually fading away. Everything Honerva said matches up with what she knows about relativity and string theory. Predicting the future is scientifically probable, but in practice impossible. She knows Honerva’s claims make sense but a part of her still can’t grasp the validity of her words.

"Show me," she says, her eyes resolute. “Show me the future of destruction. I want to know what we’re up against.” 

Honerva closes her eyes and eventually nods, leading her down a hallway to a room with a shallow circular pool, the water only a few inches deep. The ceiling of the room is a window to the space outside, stars and distant galaxies reflecting in the surface of the pool. Honerva walks out to the center and Pidge follows, the liquid cool against her bare feet. Honerva kneels, not caring that her robes get wet as they spread out upon the surface. Pidge follows suit, kneeling across from her.

"The water is a medium for seeing. Tie the quintessence within yourself to the water and feel for the thread which you seek." She places her palms against the water. "Close your eyes, I will help guide you since you are unfamiliar with threads of the future."

Pidge hesitates for a moment, her hands curled tightly in front of her. She looks from the altean to her own hands, taking a deep breath as she unfolds her fingers and lays them flat against the smooth surface, closing her eyes.

Cold tendrils travel up her arms and she lets out a gasp.

"Focus, Paladin," Honerva says, never moving or opening her eyes.

Pidge closes her eyes again and feels the cold sensation return, moving up her arms and towards her heart. Is this her drawing out the quintessence or Honerva helping her? Or is it both?

Her fingertips start to burn as her mind expands. She can sense the threads before her, tangled and stretched at all different angles. She moves her hands through the endless void, feeling for the right string. She cannot explain it but she knows when she grasps the correct one - it feels warm, it feels like a draw pulling her in. Images flash through her mind, images of  _ alteans. _

_ “We located the second comet based on King Alfor’s information. We managed to get it aboard, but it seems to be causing massive disturbances. We’re heading back to Altea, but I don’t know if we’ll be able to make it that far.”  _

_ “With this material, Altea can create their own trans-reality traveling ships. We can spread our peace and stability to all realities. General Hira, I have just stumbled across something in this ship’s hold that will ensure Altea’s rule for millennia to come.” _

_ “Defeating Zarkon was the first step. But we refuse to give up until all worlds know the true peace that Altea has achieved.”  _

_ “The hoktril; our civilization’s most advanced technological achievement. It saps the fighting force from our enemies. Their will, you might say.” _

_ “Advancements have been made. Citizens that might have been casualties of war in Empress Allura’s day can now be rehabilitated. Entire races who warred for millenia can now know peace and help us to further our new world.” _

_ “Preservation of life is the Altean Empire’s highest priority.”  _

_ “And with this material, we can do even more than we thought possible.”  _

_ “Thanks to us, no innocent will lose its life to the free will of an evil being.”  _

_ “Soon, we’ll use the comet to spread peace throughout every reality.” _

Pidge is gasping as she's brought back to reality, the pull making her insides sick. She's coughing as if she held her breath or was choked the whole time. She doesn't know how long she was under - the vision only lasted a minute but her body feels like it's been hours. Honerva is right there with a hand on her shoulder, grounding her.

"You did phenomenal for your first try my dear."

“That - there were -  _ alteans…”  _ she manages as she catches her breath. “And there are - alternate realities?! I know it’s - theoretically possible, but-” 

“Yes… alteans from an alternate reality will eventually find their way into ours and enslave entire species all under the guise of stability and peace.”

“Is this why there are no alteans left in our reality?” 

Honerva looks troubled, her eyes lowering. “I remember when the hoktril was invented. Numerous scientists were in awe of what we had achieved. I was one of the few who was repulsed by the idea, and that is how Zarkon and I met. The war was brutal. Alteans began to believe all galra were too naturally aggressive and needed to be controlled, and in turn all galra lived in fear of the alteans. So many innocent garla and alteans were killed from the spread of misinformation and fear, all for the sake of the alteans’ supposed peace. But in our reality, we prevented the enslavement of entire galaxies and destroyed the hoktrils forever. And yet in a few deca-phoebes time, the horrors of our past are coming back with a vengeance.” 

“And the Paladins and I are the only ones who can stop these alteans from destroying the peace of our reality and replacing it with the backwards version of their own.” Her head hurts from more than her injuries and the horns she is told to be growing as she tries to take all the fragments of information in. “And this is why you’re so certain of these events happening, because you’ve seen it happen before.” 

“These alteans have had centuries to perfect their technology as well. They are far more dangerous than the alteans of old.” She looks up at her, her amber eyes grave. “Now that you and the Paladins  _ are _ galra, this isn’t merely a fight to save your homeplanet but your very free will. These alteans believe it is imperative that you and your friends need a hoktril to strip you of your agency, that you are too dangerous otherwise.”

“It’s absurd…” She imagines Lance, Keith, and Hunk with the devices implanted into their heads, thoughtless and submissive and she can’t stand the thought. She clenches her hands into fists against her thighs. “Who are they to dictate the way others should live? If they even deserve to think freely for themselves?”

“It is why I need you, why the universe needs you. You and the Paladins are the only variable in everything I’ve seen that could possibly change the course of the future. It is the only reliable constant in the equations of spacetime… it has to be that way for a reason… your human future selves perish every time but perhaps… perhaps you can prevail as galra.”

Pidge sits there, allowing the possibilities to sink in. She remembers all the whispers aboard the ship about her and the Paladins, the doubt that they are good enough, the revolt at their undeserving respect. If they are the only hope and their best chance at saving the universe is by embracing their galran genetics, they have a lot of proving to do to the Galra Empire. 

“There is one other thing I want to see,” she says. “I want to know what happened when Keith and I were attacked.” 

Honerva takes in a deep inhale. “Are you prepared to see what lies in the past?”

She nods. “I need to know.” 

“Again, tie the quintessence within yourself to the water and feel for the thread of memory. I will guide you once more.”

_ The quintessence within her... _

She has to find a memory she cannot recall within herself.

She closes her eyes and feels the surface of the water, diving back into the void where she can search through the golden strands of quintessence. Again she is drawn to one and as soon as her hand grasps the thread it feels right. She knows how Honerva felt when she said the prophecy felt right - there is a strange reassurance from the quintessence that this is what she is looking for, that this is what she needs to see.

_ Screaming. _

_ Snarling. _

_ Blood. _

The monster is massive, its forearms thick with muscle, its claws reigning down ferociously. She is up against the wall, her head smashed in, her eyes blankly unseeing. Covered in crimson and unmoving, she appears dead. Perhaps she is. Keith hangs from the creature's jaws, eyes lifelessly staring upwards, his face covered in a darker purple than his now galran skin. It's his blood - his blood is purple now. Huge teeth pass through his torso, threatening to sever him in half.

Then there's a blinding flash of purple lightning and familiar robes appear. The monster screeches in pain as more arcs of energy attack it. Pidge and Keith's destroyed bodies are illuminated in disturbing flashes of harsh light against the darkness.

She is pulled back up to the surface, her eyes flying open as she gasps painfully for breath. 

"I - I was  _ dead!" _ is all she can say, her heart still racing from the terror she witnessed.

Honerva looks at her with pained eyes and swallows hard. "Yes... yes you were. But you're here now, you are fine, you are safe. I won’t let anything happen to you or your friends."

Pidge can't help herself from falling forward and wrapping her arms around the empress. Honerva holds her close, a hand gently stroking her back along her hair. Pidge lets loose her held back tears, both from the pain she suffers and the weight of the revelation of her demise.

When she pulls back a flash of light catches her eyes in the reflection of the pool. She stills, waiting for the surface ripples to calm and her heart sinks as the pool reveals the most terrifying truth that evening.

Staring back at her is a pair of glowing yellow eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fulfills the BTHB prompt "this is for your own good"!
> 
> I'm taking [Bad Things Happen Bingo prompts](https://anchoredtether.tumblr.com/tagged/shatter-and-tessellate) for this project! Feel free to [send me an ask](https://anchoredtether.tumblr.com/ask) requesting what prompt you'd like to see next! I'll try to do them in the order I receive them but some might come later for plot purposes.
> 
> As always, comments are super appreciated! <3


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